The Renovation of Jules

Why, hello there ......

2006-11-26T20:13:00.000+13:00

I have talked about my new blog template etc and I decided to kick it off with the birth story.

My new blog is not just about the renovation (or lack thereof) of me but all about every aspect of me. I have titled it Four Kids and a Fiance and if you want to know what I had then you are going to have to go there and you may as well add it to your favourites as I won't be posting here again. Off you go, you know you're dying to see what I had ....

FOUR KIDS AND A FIANCE

Killing Time After the Day From Hell

2006-11-22T22:59:00.000+13:00

Okay, last post before I push out number 4.

Today started well. Was supposed to get a million and one things done so that I could chill and have a lovely relaxing night, a great sleep and wake up full of beans and all ready for labour (LMAO!!). Instead ......

Woke up, text mate who is couple of days overdue and she had just given birth an hour earlier. Shit - that means I have to see her today before I get incarcerated and we all know there would be no "post-birth" visiting. So, got up, got into it and after dropping at kids at school this was my plan:

Go to mall, buy gift for Nicki and baby
Top up power (our silly house has one of those power manager cards)
Pay registration on Blair's car
Do a final shop
Come home and have a nap while Phoebe sleeps
Zip out to Rangiora hospital to see Nicki's new baby
Get kids from school
Make up bassinet
Final bag packing
Have takeaways and chill out

Is that what fucken happened??

Of course it fucken isn't, here is what actually happened:

Dropped kids at school and Phoebe and I headed for mall.

Went into Mall and was making way around Farmers (department store) and found a little All Black jumpsuit for Nicki's new bubba and some Living Nature Manuka Honey Lip Balm for her (we all know how much labour drys out your lips). Was looking at a Nana pack of full briefs for myself for the next couple of weeks of hell and multiple changes of underwear when Phoebe asked from her pram "Mummy, Num Num?". Num num is code for dummy/pacifier. Shit. "Sorry darling, Mummy doesn't have Num Num, it is at home!". What followed was toddler language for "Wrong fucken answer bitch!!". She went rigid in her pram, face went beet red, screaming and crying started. Satan had emerged, dare I say it, for the first time in my mothering career. I had never encountered this sort of tantrum before and definitely not on this scale. People didn't look at me in sympathy, no - they looked at me like I was an overweight trailer whore of a mother who had no idea how to look after her kid. I swiftly paid up for what I had and exited the store and mall without getting power loaded, registration for car or one single grocery. Headed to the car, tried to console Phoebe as I put her in the car (ever tried pro wrestling??), was hot so had to wind windows down so whole of Christchurch could hear her screaming, to the point of dry wretching, all the way home. Out of the car and inside - still going. Put her down on floor at entrance to her bedroom and tried to find Num fucken Num. Then it escalated to the point that I had to phone Blair just so that someone else could vouch for me that she was losing the plot. She lay on the ground kicking the wall and smashing the door and squealing like Piglet on acid. I found Num Num - result?? Asleep in less than two minutes. And that's what you get for letting your hot headed toddler become overtired.

So, I thought I had better sleep too. Slept from 11am till 1.30pm. Phoebe and I got up and proceeded to head to Rangiora Maternity hospital, a 25 min drive away. Just as about to leave Mum text me to say that there were roadworks at Belfast, northern most suburb as you leave Christchurch, and that there were big delays when heading back into the city. As I drove out I saw the road works but nothing too dramatic. Traffic down from two lanes to one on that side of the road, traffic in constant flow. Got to maternity hospital and had to wait until 2.30pm for visiting hours!! Finally got in to see Nic and her wee boy. Stayed for 20mins and then thought, had better hit the road as it would take me 25mins to get to back to town and to school to pick kids up at 3.15pm at our rendevous point. I have made this deal in recent weeks that I will pick them up 100m down the road from main gate at entry to little cul de sac so that I don't have to exit the car in my severely pregnant state with toe rag toddler. They get to have a quick afterschool play and meet me at 3.10 - 3.15pm. Well, firstly got stuck behind hideous tractor plodding it's way down main road just out of Rangiora. Finally hit Belfast at 3.02pm and lo and behold, traffic was at a stand still while some hideous big yellow contraption rolled itself around over fresh tarseal. Today, you arseholes. Took another 23mins to get to school!! In that time I used my cell phone to call school office 3 times to say that I was on my way, as I knew the kids would head back there if I hadn't turned up. The barstards never answered the phone. They have a nice new automated phone system and I couldn't get hold of a human for the life of me. Just as I was a block from school, stressing immensely about the welfare of my older two, my cellphone rang and it was the school office wanting to know where I was!!

Got home.

Sat on couch. Blair phoned to say home early as he had to pick up his mum from hospital. Another story for another day.

Just after 5pm I started to stress a bit and decided to go get the grocery items I needed and then get some Pizza on way home for dinner. Went back to Mall. Everything was shut up other than supermarket so got some groceries and then headed to Dominos. Ordered just after 7.15pm. I didn't have any vouchers on me and they refused to give me any so 2 pizzas, garlic bread and some chicken somethings came to $37.00. As I sat in the empty store with no drivers coming and going I observed what happens when no good management structure is in place. 2 young guys and a slightly older guy pissed around severely and took over 25 mins to get my order together. All the while I developed a shocking headache and literally could have fallen asleep on the seat. Then one of younger guys who had been severely piss farting around the whole time went to cut up the first pizza of my order. By this time a welsh guy in his early 30's had entered the store. I approached counter and asked if that was my order (and as no other mug was in there, it had to be) and the older guy said, sorry it is but we got one of the pizzas wrong so will have to start again with that one. Fine, I sat back down. Then pregnancy rage took over and I approached the counter again and said "Forget it, just give me my money back". "Why, we have your other pizza being made from scratch and the other pizza, garlic bread etc are all ready?". "I refuse to sit here for another ten minutes while you remake the pizza you stuffed up while I sat here for 25mins, you are barely busy yet I have been made to wait for a long time for a stuffed up order. Meanwhile my other pizza will dry up in the warming area, along with the rest of the order. Just give me my money back and I will leave". He paid up and I drove away wanting to cry.

Got home and Blair's face dropped when I said I had nothing to eat and explained my story. He started sulking, pissed off at Pizza company but obviously pissed off at me too. I started to cry, couldn't stop, made some tea, he screwed up his face at it and then tried to get me to relax. Relax!!!! I have done nothing I needed to do and you want me to relax?? I lost the plot, he shouted back, I told him to fuck off and not to bother coming to the birth as I thought he was a fuckwit and could manage on my own and then he went to bed and went to sleep. I have spent the last 4 hours trying to sort a shitload of stuff which has included ironing, washing, packing etc and then I pulled out bassinett, which has been in our room, and it is dusty as hell in between the cane and I can smell the mustiness while I type. By all means I should be cleaning it with a toothbrush but fuck it - I need to go to bed as I am giving birth in 8 hours!!!

Just a Quickie

2006-11-21T15:06:00.000+13:00

Well, my oldest is 8 years old. Officially 6 years until she can legally babysit.

She was stoked with her new bike and thinks she's as cool as a cucumber now that she has a "big" bike. I spent yesterday making the icecream cake and today (post membrane sweep) has been spent making the Ginger Lemon Pie (base one pack of gingernuts crushed with about 60g softened butter and filling = one can condensed milk, 1 cup lemon juice and 1 carton whipped cream) and making Fruit Kebabs (consisting of a piece of fresh pineapple, half a fresh strawberry, one fresh red grape and with a pink marshmallow at one end and a white marshmallow at the other - all on iceblock sticks so no sharp ends). I have defrosted the mini chocolate eclairs that you buy at New World that are filled with custard and cream and topped with real Belgian chocolate. And with the Icecream Cake I hand made yesterday it will be the best little pudding party ever.

Had membrane sweep at 10.30am. Cervix ripe and favourable, 2 cm dilated but still a bit on the thick side. She could feel head which is in right central position and waters were bulging. If I don't go before hand, she estimates a delivery time of mid arvo Thurs. Let's see if I can beat Chris's 39 min labour!!

Sticky Eye for the Preggy Guy

2006-11-20T11:16:00.000+13:00

Of course, guy rhymes whereas Girl doesn't!! I have conjuctivitis and the dodgy beginnings of a chest cold. As you do!! Have never gone into labour in such a state!!

Went to hospital last Wednesday afternoon and my blood pressure was 156/106!! That is on meds 3 x a day. Midwife took BP and then left to give readings to consultant. Consultant came in with look on his face saying "you're going to be admitted", then he saw Phoebe. His face changed. He went on to inform me that if any of his students dared not admit me they would fail their course but, under the circumstances, he was going to let me go home under the proviso that I doubled my meds effective immediately and then got checked again the next day by my midwife. If my lower BP reading was above 95 I would be admitted. So, managed to keep it under 95 - just. Then on Saturday I was at Mum's and she took my blood pressure and it was 158/96. I just ignored it. I have tried to rest but nesting urges take over so dramatically!! Today is Monday and, as previously mentioned, I woke up all sticky and chesty. Feel fine now I'm into the day but am very wary. Tomorrow is Peta's 8th birthday. All she has asked is that I am here for her birthday. Hard one to deliver on considering I am off to midwife at 10.30am to have my membranes swept. She is pretty good though, she will take my BP etc but hopefully it will all still be under acceptable limits. Then, I wait and see what happens, if nothing does I am being induced at 8am on Thursday morning.

We are having a Pudding Party for Peta. Family coming over at 7pm for an icecream cake (homemade - attempting it today, fingers crossed) and other desserty delights. Takes away the hassle as pudding is always easy to dish up and get over and done with. If worst comes to worst I'll at least be here for the birthday morning. We got Peta a new bike as her other one we got when she was four is a bit small now.

Desperately scared of labour. Why - I don't really know. I have had 3 relatively easy labours. First was 4 hours long and I was induced, which was pretty hard and fast. Second was 1 hour and 10 mins long, had membranes swept the day prior. And Phoebe was 1 hour and 39 mins and I was induced. So what am I stressing about?? Fuck knows!! But something is worrying me. Maybe I am just being a big sooka bubba.

I Love Sammy

2006-11-15T11:30:00.000+13:00

I cooked the most divine dinner last night. We have had a rather healthy couple of days, must be the fact that the Iron supplements are finally kicking in and I have more energy and am far less of a grumpy mole. I nicked the recipe from Downsize Me but I will probably go on in the future to claim it as my own!!

I got about a 400g Salmon fillet and coated the top of it with Basil Pesto. Wrapped in tin foil and put on the BBQ for about 5 mins each side, then prob another 5 mins (but only because I am a bit paranoid about things not being cooked properly when I am preggers). I cut the fillet in half and shared between Blair and I. Accompanied with a Greek Salad consisting of Lettuce, Garlic & Cumin Feta, Avocado, Black Olives, Cucumber and Truss Grown Tomatoes all topped with a dash of Extra Virgin Olive Oil. That was it. Granted, it would have gone down a treat with a bloody nice glass of Sav, but we can't have everything we want!! It was fucken delicious and filling. No starches in sight, unless you count Blair's glass of beer!!

I couldn't shut up about how yummy it was. Later on we had fresh pineapple and strawberries topped with a spoon of boysenberry icecream. Okay, so the icecream wasn't anywhere near healthy but damn it was good!!

Yesterday was one of those nesting days. I did a wool wash of cardigans and blankets and hats and mittens and booties. I napisan'd the baby gowns and stretch n grows. I cleaned out the baby carseat. I even cooked Chicken Cacciatore and froze for a back up meal down the track!!!

Off to the big wig Dr at Christchurch Women's in 2 hours. Hoping all will be fine. Have been taking my medication religiously and all has been well. I stopped the low dose aspirin 2 weeks ago because you have to finish it a couple of weeks before delivering just in case you have to have surgery as the aspirin thins the blood and can make clotting a problem. The reason I was on it was to prevent the pre eclampsia. Apparently it has had rave reviews in the last couple of years as to prevention in mother's that are high risk. Seems to have worked so I can't complain.

So, will update later - maybe - as to how it went.

Just Over a Week

2006-11-13T13:27:00.000+13:00

I had a rather good weekend. Had a few full on random contractions on Friday between 4pm and 7pm. And before you query how I know this, let's remember this is the fourth child I have carried and I sure as hell know what a contraction feels like compared to Braxton Hicks. The upside of this was that I finally got a bit freaked and decided to sort my shit out and got the bag I need for my trip to hospital. I have half pie packed it even!! I bought a bassinett mattress for the bassinett we have in our room and I even got it out of the sleepout ready to make up. I have gone through a giant bag of old clothes that was to be garage saled, and found all the baby cardigans, hats and singlets. Bloody relief that I wasn't organised enough to ever have that garage sale. Now I don't really have to buy any new stuff (although I will!!).

Have made up template for my fresh start blog, which I will release in all it's glory when the fourth child arrives. I have made it a bit more general so that it not only concentrates on my extra cellular mass but also on all other aspects of me. This blog has always had the title "The Renovation of Jules" and, in it's own way, that has been what it was about. But, not really running along the vein I had intended. There was the renovation of my post baby no 3 weight, and then the renovation of my working life and then the unexpected renovation of my uterus - AGAIN!! So, quite fittingly, renovation will not be included in the new title. Suits me fine as we are building from scratch for our new home and may as well start the whole thing with a new foundation on the body/mind front as well.

Blair (my fiance for those that may not know) is going through a hell of a time with sinus and psoriasis issues at the moment. I know my slackness in the kitchen is very much to blame but he has plenty of beer in his diet that does not help at all!!!

I haven't been too bad anyway. Saturday night we had lamb chops on BBQ, curried egg salad, greek salad and mashed potato. Last night we had StirFry Beef with Hokkein Noodles and tonight we are having One Pot Basil Pesto Chicken (minus the Basil Pesto!!). Basically chicken breasts, brown rice, brocolli and carrots all cooked in a real chicken stock with a few garlics and spices thrown in for good measure. Should be lovely.

I'm actually very impressed with Blair at the moment. Seeing me in the depths of despair with depression over the last couple of weeks he did something that one only does out of pure love. He shaved off the disgusting moustache that he knows aggrevates me so much (only grows it about once a year) and right at the start of Movember as well!! Wonders will never cease.

Keep those grocery bill estimates coming in (see last post and a big thanks to Chris and Kate!!) and I can make a decision on my budgeting.

How Much Is Your Grocery Bill??

2006-11-10T13:14:00.000+13:00

I have been having a quandry of sorts lately with the whole "food budget" thing. I want to know how much you all spend on a weekly average on your groceries. If you have children, let me know if you are buying nappies, formula etc and I will do some figures and see what people are averaging. I just feel like I am maybe not budgeting enough and, as a result, getting stressed trying to meet the budget on shopping day. Inevitably I am making more trips to the supermarket when I run out of stuff and this is when sneaky things like chocolate make their way into my basket, and then into my cakehole!!

I hate housework. Have been feeling like such a lazy bitch lately. I really am not enjoying doing the frickin dishes at all!! Doesn't help that 19 month old Phoebe has to be involved in the drying process and it makes it drag out.

On a completely different note - I am going to be completely revamping this blog. I need to for the whole "new start" thing. I need a new template and new everything. I think the whole Natural Jules theme may have to go as well because, who am I fucken kidding?? I'm about as natural as a gothic on acid. Well, maybe not that extreme but I don't practise what I preach so that makes me a hypocrite and I don't like that. So, I'm going to come up with something new and vibrant that reflects who I am - a 31 year old mother of four (plus our newly acquired World Vision sponsor boy "Innocent"), who has a distorted self perception, high blood pressure and a low iron count. I actually need to do a bit of soul searching and see who I actually am. I mean, at the end of the day, someone wise has once said that you should act as you mean to be. If we followed this reasoning then all it would take to be the healthy, slim, positive being that I long to be would be acting that way. What would I be acting like if I was at a healthy weight with a healthy body inside and out, body and mind? It definitely wouldn't be shoving down two mayonnaise sandwiches for lunch. Where is the nutrition content in that meal??

As you can see, back to the old random tangenting but, hey, that's what works for me. For too long I have tried to cut out swearing and randomness but it just doesn't help my self expression. Grin and bear it or you can always go read someone else's well thought out blog instead of my turbulent affair!!!

3 Weeks To Go!!

2006-11-01T15:01:00.000+13:00

Well, technically 5 weeks to go but the whole maternity team is onboard for a 38 week delivery to reduce chance of having to deal with BP complications. My BP is hovering around 150/90 and that is on the meds 3 x a day. As long as it doesn't go much higher then I should be able to make it to 38 weeks without any complications. I have decided that you blogger buddies are a much needed part of my life and that I have shut that part out in the last couple of months and it has backfired on me. This was always a source for me to let out my feelings etc and as I have not been doing that I have ended up in a paranoid depressed state again and may even have to go under care of Mother & Babies unit to get post natal backup. I never had my issues when I aired them all here!!

So, expect the entries to increase. Am thinking that part of the hassle for me has been the fact that I am still on dial up internet and that it is about time this tight wad sprung the extra 12 bucks a month to be able to have high speed internet access.

And It All Falls Into Place

2006-10-17T12:38:00.000+13:00

I may have mentioned, and don't ask me to confirm it as my pregnant brain just can't do these sorts of things, that Mum and Dad were going to help us into our own home in Rangiora. Well, looks like we are actually going to build our own home in Rangiora. At the moment the cost of buying a nice 3 bdrm home needing a bit of work and a bit of an add on would be in the vicinity of $260K. To buy a 600m2 section in Rangiora will cost us around $140K with Blair being able to build us a 4 bdrm home for around $100K. So we would be looking at $20K less in outlay and our new home would be worth around $350K as soon as it was built. Compare that with the 3 - 4 years of waiting and heaps of renovating that we would have to do on an already existing home to get around $300K value. Dad is putting an offer in on a section tomorrow for us.

I am trying not to get too excited but I can't help it. The whole plan will be that we rent off the olds for the first year (as it can be a killer tax wise for Dad if we don't) and then they sell it to us for the cost of section plus materials. We gain the equity (eg we are going to be buying a $350K house for a $240K mortgage) and will then be in a position to start heading in the direction we want. Still won't be easy - even a $240K mortgage over 30 years will set you back $400 a wk just in repayments and that isn't including rates, insurance and R & M. Compared to the $250 rent a week we have been paying and it is going to be a hard but worthwile road for us. And it all goes to plan, we will do it all again in 3 or so years and get our mortgage right down. Then Blair will be able to go out on his own and build a couple of houses a year and make a good living. That's if all follows the plan but we all know that this doesn't always happen.

On baby and bum front = all good. Baby appears to be growing well and my BP has stabilised. Bum has odd bulging haemy but that is put down to the fact that baby's heartbeat was last found just above the pelvic bone!!!!!!!!!

Where the F Are You??

2006-10-09T13:35:00.000+13:00

I know, where did the last 3 weeks go??

I have been fine, if you can count haemorrhoids, bleeding noses and severe Braxton Hix as fine. Enjoying being at home but still finding my groove with the whole "at home mum" thing. Have slipped into a bit of a state at times and am going to make a real effort to get on and be as healthy as poss to try and get the good vibes flowing.

Got weighed when I was admitted to hospital a month ago and was 110.8kg. Got weight last Wednesday at same hospital and was 110.5kg. Not bad considering I should be putting on 0.5kg a week. Baby fine growth wise so it is ME that is losing the weight. Probably just less sitting on my arse at work and more of running around after 18month old terror!!

A Lady of Leisure

2006-09-15T10:14:00.000+12:00

Well, we all know that title is a bit ridiculous considering the three offspring I have and the neverending naturopathy units but, I have officially finished working and am now a stay at home mum! I was due to finish work last Friday but got forced to finish on the Wednesday by the gestapo at the Christchurch Women's Hospital who, on one of my routine checkups, wouldn't let me leave because my BP was 174/108. I only ended up in for a day and a night and got released on MEDICATION!! Now we all know what a huge thing it is for me to take meds after the Methyldopa affair but I have been a good little guinea pig and done as I have been told. My BP had come down before I got my first dose anyway.

I now have had a week at home and have not done one little bit of study or naturopathy work. Meds make me a little drowsy and I have a lovely face rash to go with it - lovely looking like a drowsy sleepy dopey drug addict when I pick the kids up from school!!

Being at home with Phoebe is proving great fun but she is definitely a handful. How my mother didn't lose a stone running around after her I do not know.

The Almighty Jules

2006-09-01T22:06:00.000+12:00

Okay, just over a month ago I did the previous deep and dark post. 2 weeks later my grandmother died, less than four weeks after being diagnosed with cancer. We travelled from Christchurch (where we live) to Invercargill (bottom of south island, 7.5 hours drive away) for the funeral and I did get to spend the week before she died seeing her four times. I was amazed at the speed at which the cancer took over and even more amazed at the faith my grandmother had in her religion. She was a devout catholic and her beliefs shone through in her last couple of days. And it struck me that, it doesn't matter what you believe in, as long as you believe in something. And, that could be where I am going wrong. I don't believe in myself, the Almighty Jules. Who else can be the strength for your own soul? My workmate had her baby early around the time of my last post. At 23 weeks pregnant. Amazingly her wee girl is still alive and fighting strongly to be here. She has had to have high doses of steroids and she has recently had a stomach infection, a drop in heart rate and a suspected seizure. Amazing what medical science can do these days although the outlook, if she lives, is pretty bleak but you can never tell what miracle is going to happen.

I am finding it really hard to blog at the moment, not because I have nothing to say but more because I have been so busy with funerals, work, sick children and just existing as a full time working pregnant mother of three, that when i have enough time to blog it normally means that I am at a moment of rare peace in my hectic day and as soon as I stop my eyelids drop and I just want to go to sleep. I am struggling right now to stay awake just to get this brief post out to my loyals!! I finish work next Friday and it will be great, although hard on the pocket. I then have 5 weeks until my naturopathy exam (Oct 14th) and still have a heap of units to complete. My Blood pressure has been fantastic and I think we have decided to put the Aussie move on hold for a couple of years, if not more. Realistically, I will struggle so much without my support network and I need to set a stable environment in place for my evergrowing family.

As far as weight goes, I think I am up about 6kg since pre pregnancy. I am 28 weeks next week so I am not sure that things have been all that healthy. Although, my mother keeps telling me I am losing weight and I must admit, I had to buy a skirt for my grandma's funeral and maternity clothes for the 100kg plus are not easy to find - so I went to Farmers and found a lovely skirt. Brought it in a size 20 and it is still too big for me but will at least get around my waist. So I haven't seemed to put too much weight on really but am retaining a heap of fluid. I am literally nearly falling off my perch with sleepiness so will try and update again much sooner than last time.

My 16mth Old

2006-07-31T21:54:00.000+12:00

This little squirt is such a terror. She is such a hard nut (very like her mother). So many of you have asked me for an updated photo. This is the best I can do as my shitty little camera phone is all I have.

I have been away for a while - from blogging that is. I have just felt like I have had nothing to say. There is so much going on with everyone and I just don't know how to say what I need to say.

My grandmother got diagnosed with a second round of cancer a couple of weeks ago. Today she collapsed and was rushed to hospital. She is not in a good way. She has had a good life and is 84 years old. A friend of a friend is in the same state. She is 32 with two kids under 4. She hasn't had a good life. She hasn't even begun to live the life she planned. I struggle to understand the ways of life. I know there is nothing we can do but it doesn't stop me wondering every time I hear of disgusting attrocities like bombings of innocent Lebanese children - what ever made this race of humans such a wierd bunch.

I know, all a bit deep and unanswerable, but fuck it, needed to get it out of my head.

Following the Herd

2006-06-30T11:44:00.000+12:00

So, everyone else has a baby ticker so I thought I may as well join the masses!!

I think I need a fucken (excuse language but it is needed for effect)huge rark up!!

I had to go to Christchurch Women's Hospital the other morning for a referral because of my f-en blood pressure. Of course, I sat there waiting and getting agiated for over an hour and then my blood pressure was 166/94. Then I had this extremely obese, snot dribbling, pen in ear - picking out the wax, Arab registrar who went completely over the top and set me up for a myriad of crazy tests and scans and two - four weekly visits for the rest of my pregnancy!! At first I got angry, nay livid!!! Then last night I thought about it. I bloody well knew that this would happen if I didn't eat healthier. I said out loud to someone that if I didn't do what was needed and the hospital became involved then it would be my own bloody fault. AND IT IS!! I have acted proactively. I have bought a copy of Perfect Blood Pressure and I aim to sort my excretions out and get on to it. I have 3 kids and can not afford to be stuck in hospital by some frickin junior doctor who is following the book to the letter!

Part of my lack of really great eating has been a combination of winter, tiredness and lack of organisation. Really hard to cook something healthy for dinner when I get home at 6pm and there are stuff all groceries. So, have to be on to it get back to weekly menus and grocery lists.

Hello There

2006-06-21T13:15:00.000+12:00

I have been extremely slack due to being extremely busy, self obsessed and a pregnant fulltime working and studying mother of three. Last week spent 6 days in New Plymouth doing my final workshop for my Diploma of Naturopathy. Was great but exhausting.

My blood pressure has jumped up and I have been told I won't be able to work past 28 weeks. I am currently 16.5 weeks and still about the same weight. I have also been told that I should be trying to attempt to finish my exam for Naturopathy in 3.5 weeks. Do do this I will need to complete 8 units of work in 3 weeks. Impossible?? Of course it is but that makes it all the more challenging aye??

Kids are great.

We have made the decision to move to Australia in May/June next year - Sunshine Coast to be exact. Chasing the Golden Wallet but also the lifestyle. We spend all of winter inside here in Christchurch because it is either too cold or too smoggy and then we spend most of summer inside too because it is always extremely windy.

Will try and update again soon.

Self Image Obsessed or What??

2006-05-19T11:41:00.000+12:00

I left the supermarket last night in the dark. Hopped in the car, started up, drove down the road a bit and then a song I love started to play. I was the only one in the car so I shouted out "Woohoo" very loudly and clapped once very loudly. And this is where my strange self image obsession kicked in. I actually had the following thought pattern:

"Shit, I shouldn't do that. How embarrasing would it be if there was an attacker in the back seat about to hijack me? They would think I was a dick!"

Seriously - that is the what went through my head. WTF?? Who fucken cares what a would be attacker thinks of them at any time let alone when they are exclaiming in joy at a favourite song coming on in their own fucken car? Am I that worried about my image - well, yes obviously but it disturbs me immensely!!

Sensing ..........

2006-05-17T21:51:00.000+12:00

.......... being absolutely fucken stoked!!

I am an addict. Yes, you heard it - an addict. I am absolutely addicted to Sensing Murder. I LOVE IT!!! And, to top off my addiction, my work social club has decided that we should go see Deb Webber on Tuesday 30th May. Fricking over the moon am I!!

So last night I whipped up a Liver Cleansing recipe - Chicken with Almonds. Delicious. A shitload of ingredients but well worth the 40 or so minutes of prep. And the healthiest thing I have eaten in at least a week.

I am 12 weeks on Sunday. Due 2nd December. So - that's that.

I also love laughing. Comedy gala is on tonight and I am laughing so much me pelvic floor muscles (kegels!) are having a right old time trying to hold it all in.

Have a lovely day.

Motivation

2006-05-16T22:45:00.000+12:00

I finally did it. I got on my hands and knees and defrosted my freezer and cleaned out my mangey fridge. To be honest, and rather gross, I have not cleaned it for a couple of months. Took ages but the joy of having a spick and span fridge and an ice-free freezer is all worth it. I scrubbed that sucker!! It also brought to my attention how absolutely ridiculously small my fridge/freezer is. Blair and I purchased it when Peta was 6 months old. We got one big enough for us then. Now we have three children with one more on the way and it is impossible to even fit the weekly veges in.

I also got my garage semi sorted. We have an absolutely huge double garage and we could hardly get in to reach the washing machine (laundry part of garage). On Saturday I decided, post fridge cleansing, to rip into it. I moved and sorted and got one side into an ordered row of garage sale stuff, rubbish stuff and boxes packed against back wall that desperately need a whole week of sorting to find out what the hell is actually in them. The other side fits my car in quite nicely. I was quite glad I had achieved this as Sunday was absolutely torrential rain and has been followed by a couple of frosts.

The point of rambling about this domestic nonsense is to get a feeling across. Both of those tasks have loomed ahead of me for a couple of months. I have put them off and put them off. When I finally got motivated and did them the feeling of accomplishment was fantastic. I have many weight and study related tasks that have loomed ahead of me for years. I keep putting them off, finding every excuse under the sun. If I just got stuck in and did them (just like I did with the garage and the fridge) then imagine the feeling of accomplishment!!

Fate

2006-05-11T14:41:00.000+12:00

Now, whether you believe in it or not, you have to agree that fate has dealt me a great hand this time around.

How many years have I been studying my naturopathy?? Well six to be exact and last October I officially withdrew 6 papers shy of my diploma. Last week one of the head tutors phoned me to ask why I had paid them $600. I hadn't, so once we cleared that, I happened to enquire as to whether or not it would be possible for me to re-enroll to complete the final papers and thus allowing me to gain my qualification. This set the ball rolling and within 5 hours I had booked and paid for return flights to New Plymouth for my final one week workshop, sit the exam 15th July, and have to sit the practical by end of November and by the time bubs comes I will be qualified.

And the ultimate of it all means that I shall never have to come and work for these crazy women ever again nor any other crackpots like them.

And hence my believe in fate.

Let's Change the Picture

2006-05-04T22:42:00.000+12:00

Thought I had better post something different so you don't have to look at my blister any more. (And Tracey's pleading!!)

Feet have been swollen today and it definitely has to have a relation to my blood pressure as it is up again today, whereas it had been really good and my feet were good.

I am under a bit of time pressure at the moment as I am desperate to go to bed. Have had 3 late nights in a row and have been waking up buggered. Work is still sucking. Every time I think things have plateaued out something fucken strange happens and I realise that I work with weirdos!!

Catch up again soon.

Hagley Park

2006-05-01T23:14:00.000+12:00

I did my second walk in two weeks around Hagley Park. I go with a girl from work. She is fit and healthy and doesn't let me use lame excuses to get out of it. We walk around both parks (around 6km I think) Took us 1 hr and 2 minutes tonight. Took 1 hour and 10 minutes last time. I really really need better shoes though as I have a giant blister on my left little toe on top of tender barely healed skin from last time.

I am reading in so many people's blogs that they have lost their groove and are putting on a few kilos when they have worked so hard to lose so many. Maybe it is just nature padding all you skinny malinks up for Winter.

I am so embarrased about my shabby house at the moment. Because my brain is blah I have had no desire to do anything about sorting out my new house. Nothing is in it's place. To be honest nothing has had a place for years. We have been in a constant state of moving for years now. Longest in one place just over two years. I mean, there have been reasons - owners wanting to move back in, too expensive, too many children. I know that this place is temporary - really temporary and I just can't muster the energy to sort everything out when I know that we will move on for good soon. As long as the plan all goes to plan. If I have learnt anything in the last couple of weeks it is "Don't Plan". Every time I plan something it doesn't happen.

How did my healthy eating go today??

Breakfast:
1 grapefruit, Cornflakes, banana and soy lite
Morning tea:
1 pear, Green tea with Mandarin and Limeflowers
Lunch:
2 pieces soy and linseed toast with hommous and sliced tomato and a salad made up of avocado, mandarin segments and bean sprouts with lemon juice as dressing.
Afternoon tea:
Apple
Dinner:
Tomato and cheese sausages, mashed potato, brocolli and mixed veges.

Just had to stuff it up at the end of the day with the sausies. But, overall a pretty healthy day.

Love ya.

2006-04-30T19:36:00.000+12:00

There are so many feelings I have at the moment that I don't really know where to start.

Fear: I so greatly fear that I will never turn my life around and get slim and healthy like I need to be. I fear that I will forever be trapped inside this giant body that is just not mine!! I fear that I will have another terrible pergnancy and end up either in hospital or on another terrible medication that will have some hideous side effect.

Joy: Yes, joy. I have joy in my heart that another little being is going to join my family. I got home from work on Friday night and my three kids were all standing at the sliding door looking out at me walking towards the house and they were all beaming giant smiles. They love me unconditionally and I love them and that is enough to give me immense joy.

Fatigue: Okay, technically not a feeling but it is today!! My body feels fatigued after a day of constant grazing. Not always on bad things but just felt the need to put things in my gob all day long - from mandarins to crackers. I am not sleeping properly and when I do I wake with a sealed up nasal cavity and I feel like I have been beaten all night long.

Fogginess: My mind is so unclear on what angle I need to take to achieve the goals I have. Maybe I actually need to verbalise what these goals are, break them down and make them achievable.

Dismay: At the thought of losing my Subaru Legacy Wagon in place of a Mitsubishi Chariot. Saw a new 7 seater Subaru Tribeca on the subaru website. Beautiful but $32000 as they are new, going on the fact that is probably USD then I would say that would be about $70K NZ dollars. That would be completely out of our range but a fucken cool 7 seater all the same.

That's me.

How Time Flies

2006-04-28T22:14:00.000+12:00

I started my surfing session tonight with what was supposed to be a quick look at other's blogs and then into a good entry of my own. What actually happened, and isn't this always the way, was that I got engrossed in all of you guys lives and it is nearly two hours later and I have that awful shoulder pain that Dietgirl was talking about. So, dependant on pain tolerance levels, this may be a short one when it was meant to be a long one.

Was reading Anon Fit Woman's blog and was struck by an epiphany. I don't write for me anymore. I looked back over my last couple of entries and they were all informative little updates on my life. Mere facts and figures. What has happened to the spark for blogging I used to have. If we could, and we can't because it has gone, we would click on back to some of my original diary-x entries and we would be amazed at the wit, the passion, the indepth look into the inner workings of my mind. Now it is more like looking at a boring memoir of a boring fat woman. I used to be all about me. Frankly, who cares about Blair and his fire service etc? I mean, sure, let them be dropped into conversation but this is the renovation of jules and I don't see any plans for diy of any others.

So, crux of it all is that this is about me again.

You heard it. No more boring weekly or bi-monthly updates on what I am doing in my life. That is not what I am about. I am back with a vengance baby and you better be ready to read some exciting shit that is going to come spilling forth out of this chubby little head of mine.

PS. Blair missed out on the cognitive testing. Froze on a numerical question and panicked and missed a whole portion of the maths section. ( I mean, we have to have some updates on my other life too!!:)

The Most Fertile Woman In The Land

2006-04-20T13:31:00.000+12:00

You guessed it (how could you not) - I'm pregnant again!! I know that we all thought that Phoebe was my last, including me, but nature has defied my plans and let a sperm pass my IUD and lodge itself in an egg and happily create a wee embryo. I found out last week. The IUD was still in and had to be removed the other day with a 50% chance of miscarriage but things are still going strong now. I am 7.5 weeks and am still in a state of shock. I think the little sucker deserves to be here after all the barriers that it has dodged to be here.

What does this mean for me? It means that I am at risk of some serious health problems, we all know how the last one went for me. So, as of Monday, our house is having a clear out of shit food and we are all on a health binge. I have stated to Blair that we are in this together, especially since he is so excited. My blood pressure at the hospital was 165/105 so it has started already.

Blair got shortlisted for the fire service. He has his cognitive and physical testing on Saturday morning and will know immediately if he moves on to the next stage or not. He is very excited but, I must admit, I'm a wee bit concerned about it now, with the way things have developed. If he does get in he will be away on the 11 week training course in Rotorua during my last trimester and on my due date. They are allowed home for weekends but not allowed to leave during the week for anything. This is a huge thing as I will very likely not make it to full term with my health issues. I suppose I shouldn't worry about it now but it is hard not to.

As for my job, this now means that I am stuck with what I have or I'll get no maternity leave. A bit of a worry as it is so stressful but I will cross each bridge as I come to it. And this also means that we will more than likely take Mum and Dad up on their offer of the house deal in Rangiora. How can we turn an offer like that down with four kids. No bank is going to look twice at us with that many offspring. And my lovely silver subaru will have to be traded in for a fucken mothership!!!

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, there are plenty of you out there that struggle to conceive at all and I don't want to offend anyone. It seems completely unfair to me that so many people are trying so hard yet I have an IUD, am still breastfeeding twice a day and still manage to get pregnant.

Hope everyone is really well. Miss you all lots and will desperately try to catch up on some blogs later today.

Plateau By Choice

2006-03-30T21:50:00.000+12:00

I have had enough of points etc at the moment, my mind has turned into a point and, working for an accountant, my life is being run in 6 minute units so I am all for abandon at the moment. Am still the same weight I have been for months.

I have gone off of my blood pressure meds and am feeling better although, heaps of tension at work is making me stress.

I need to get sorted but everything seems so busy that I just never seem to have a minute to get sorted. I don't want this to sound like a copout as I am definitely going to keep on with this. I just feel stagnant at the moment.

Blair has put his application in for the fire service and we find out on the 5th of April whether get got shortlisted or not. If he makes it, (apparently they have had hundreds of applications this time around), he then does cognitive and physical testing on 22nd April. Then if he passes those he goes on to Practical Assessment Course and then formal interviews and will know by 22nd May at the latest. I feel so nervous for him. He has dreamed of this all his life and now he has finally done the hard yards to apply (24 page application - very indepth)I am just so nervous for him.

He also got offered a brilliant job the other day by a guy that head hunted him years ago. He has offered him a great payrise, almost $25,000 a year, a company vehicle and the offer of learning the draughting and plan preparation side as well as running up to 22 jobs at a time. The chance of a lifetime.

Hope everyone else is well. I am going to go and catch up with as many blogs as poss. If I don't comment, it does not mean that I haven't dropped by. I will only comment if I have time. It is 10pm afterall and I have work in the morning.

Here I Am

2006-03-09T13:31:00.000+13:00

I know, I have been absent for ages!! Moved in a really quick space of time and still don't have computer up and running at home. Work has been diabolical and haven't been weight watchering or anything other than cleaning and moving bloody houses.

Have had really big upheavals as far as home life and Blair and I are thinking of turning Mum and Dad down on their offer. They are just so intrusive in our lives as it is, they probably don't even realise it though. Moving next door to them has highlighted just how full on they are in the sense that they try and control us. They dictate to us what we are doing, when we are doing it etc. It is driving us nuts and to be so heavily under the thumb from them financially, and have them as childcarers - we would just have no say in our own lives. We are thinking it will be better to live our lives the way we want to and just keep them in the background, where we still love and cherish them. Otherwise I can see big things happening!!!

It will mean that we are still renting and have to look at the childcare situation, as we won't be moving out near Mum and Dad and will steer away from their involvement. Big decisions, we are doing up a list of pros and cons at the moment and the pros of doing it on our own are outweighing the cons.

How is everyone else going out there? Haven't checked up on anyone but will endeavour to do so. I haven't put on any weight, I know that much. Will be back into it soon.

What to Do?

2006-02-16T13:10:00.000+13:00

I am back on track, yet you may have noticed the lack of a Wednesday Weighin title. I am in the middle of trying to decide whether WW is working for me or whether I am just plodding along week after week, paying my money and getting annoyed at everything. I am in the limbo stage at the moment. I have joined, left and re-joined a number of times but I just feel I am not getting anything out of it at the moment. That being said, I am completely back on track. Have been eating well and drinking heaps of water. Have not been snacking at all, which is bloody excellent for me.

We are moving again. Mum and Dad are offering us their rental which has more room for the kids rooms. And... it is 200m, if that, from a really large park - Jellie Park which has a Swimming complex and a gym and plenty of walking areas. It would only be temporary until they sell and move to the country where they are building their dream home. They have offered to buy us a house and set the ball rolling there. The house would be Rangiora way so that they could still look after the kids (as they are my childcare)and it will all work out brilliantly. Unless .... Blair gets into the fire service and gets his second choice on location and ends up in Wellington.

Who knows but the rental part goes ahead in 3 weeks anyway.

The Sperminator

2006-02-11T09:19:00.000+13:00

Warning: Sperm and bad language ahead!!

When you cum with Sperm@m@x nothing else matters.
With Spermamax one towel won’t be enough to wipe off your sperm.
Spermamax improves your sperm motility.

Okay, WTF? I am sick to death of losers, who can't get a real job, sending me emails with the above content. For starters, who the hell wants to deal with the washing of two or more towels every time you have nooky? Not me!! You have too much spare time on your hands if you are after that sort of clean up job. Point being -LEAVE ME ALONE SPAMMER LOSERS.

Now for the interesting part of the post:

Being one of the 'biggest losers' myself, I have to admit to one and all that I did not end up biking while watching TV. No, I ate dinner instead. Why, because I didn't get home until half and hour before programme, whipped family up dinner while the man sat on his anus trying to download some music and, just as I served up said dinner, said anus sitter-onner had my brother turn up, impromptu apparently, and they departed for the pub. The joy of being a woman.

I have made a decision, one of many: I am going to blog on Wednesday and Saturday - definitely! Any other blogging will be done on a "casual" basis and you will be priviledged beyond belief to have more than two entries a week from the famous MOI!! Reason: as many have said before me, it just gets too time consuming and I need to live it as much as I write it.

Now for a wee tidbit into the brain workings of the fab JULES:

I find it amazing that one little kilo has made my self-perception go mad. I feel huge, bigger than I have ever felt. I am really being hard on myself, I look at myself in the mirror and cringe at the sheer volume of space that my face takes up. I mean, there is only so much room in the universe and clearly, by being obese I am doubling my allocated quota. I don't know whether I am retaining an abnormal amount of fluid at the moment but I feel like the Staypuff Marshmallow Man. Where's Bill Murray when you need him?

Plan of Attack:

Drink heaps of water
Cut down on salt
No sugar in coffee

Baby steps aye?

My Second Arse

2006-02-09T15:13:00.000+13:00

Week 4 of Paulene's challenge

24th weighin at weight watchers.

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 103.6kg
Loss/Gain: +100g
Kgs Lost: 6.2kg
Kgs to Goal: 38.6kg

So ridiculously, the inch worm is creeping it's way back up the scale. I got a wee bit silly about it for about a second, then thought, in reality - I have put on one whole kg since before Christmas. I am not really blowing out as such, but rather stagnating.

Am hopping on the bike tonight while The Biggest Loser is on. I don't want to ever watch another 'fat' programme again without doing something active at the time.

Now, here is a disturbing fact that I was made aware of by my reflection this morning. I have two arses!! No shit, I have the normal, yet rather large one that resides at the base of my spine. Okay. But, I have discovered a second one. It has probably been there for a while but I have just not had the chance to view it before now. I was ironing my work trousers this morning while wearing my bra and "pull your tummy in, creating a muffin top" knickers. I reached up, above the microwave to grab some obscure item out of the cupboard. I happened to glance at the microwave door and lo-and-behold, there it was. Blinding me with it's hideousness was my second arse. The reflection was of the top of my inner thighs, just below the panty line, or otherwise to be referred to as Arse 2. The squidgy fat that lolls around at the top of my thighs has formed a nice little arse (the type of arse I wouldn't be too pissed off about having at the back where the rather bulbous one is situated right now).

So, this leads to a new challenge in the list of many challenges:

The "BANISH THE SECOND ARSE, ONE IS ENOUGH" Challenge.

My Apologies

2006-02-05T18:14:00.000+13:00

I received a comment in response to my self pitied whine about "where are you all and where are your comments?" post and I must admit, it made me feel horrible. Not horrible that it was posted, but horrible that the person feels the way that they do. So that you know what I am talking about - here is the comment:

I have commented on your blog a few times and, due to lack of response, have given up. You get out what you put in rings true on many levels.

Not holding this against you, I will probably be back, but I found I can't help but feel badly when I don't get comments, esp from people on whose blogs I comment. As you know, losing weight and making over my life is hard enough without worrying about things like comments received - comments are supposed to be a source of strength and encouragement and that's now the only way I look at them. So, like Mary, I have taken to only leaving comments for people who do the same to me.

Good luck with your new plan, I am sure you will get out of it what you put in. You can do it!!

As you can read - the comment is not nasty in any way, shape or form but I feel quite horrible in the fact that I have been taken to task on something that I feel quite strongly about. I love to receive comments from each and every one of you and I try, as often as possible, to get back and read what is going on in your lives as well. I work fulltime, have three children and fit in posting and reading when I can. I comment as often as I feel I have anything worth saying. Sometimes I have things to say but only have a few minutes to read and not comment. And, lazily - I tend to comment on the same old regulars and only comment on others on odd occassions. The purpose of this is not to excuse myself at all. The purpose is to send a heartfelt apology to the person who left this comment. I know exactly how you feel, as there is a well known blogger out there, who I won't name, who I go check up on regularly as I admire her guts and determination. I used to leave comments a lot, now I only leave them every now and then - as this person has done the same thing to me as I have done to the Anonymous commenter. They have not once left a comment on my blog nor responded to my comments on their own blog. It has hurt my feelings a wee bit but, I have moved on and I still read her blog.

My point, if there really is one - is that I have gone and visited every single blog of every single person who has commented on my site, but I have not commented on every single one. I apologise for hurt feelings and, as I don't know who you are, I wish you all the best on your journey as well. We are all here for each other but, the main objective for me in doing this is to get out feelings, frustrations and day to day struggles that I can't get out in any other medium. This blog is for me and anyone else who gains strength, laughter or information from it. But - selfishly I put me above all else when it comes to blog land. Good luck to one and all and please believe me when I say I gain immense inspiration from each and every person out there who puts there heart on the line by blogging and letting even one stranger in to the space that is their weightloss struggle.

A New Approach

2006-02-02T22:09:00.000+13:00

Hey guys, thanks for all your comments. I have taken each and every one on board, and once you all pointed out how busy we all are - I remembered that I have posted stuff all comments myself since just before Christmas. Have put everything in perspective. Leigh - you got me thinking, I am rather large to be expecting to run without consequences. It is about getting to a more comfortable level to be able to tackle the running. I have a new idea - when don't I? I am going to start the Couch to 5K again when I hit my 10%. At 103.5kg, I still have around 5kg to go. Time to concentrate on the food. I have set a limit on the breastfeeding issue. Yes, I am still breastfeeding the squirt. Morning and night. It is a wee bond that we have and I am finding it extremely hard to break. I gave up with Peta and Ben when they were both about to hit 7 - 8 months. Yet Phoebs is 10 months old on Monday and I find it very distressing to think that this will be the last child I will nuture in such a way. All the material I read on the weight subject indicates that the body will not let you lose too much weight while you are breastfeeding - it just goes against the natural scheme of things. Your hormones are constantly gearing you to look after the baby so it screams at you not to lose weight or you won't be able to look after your bubba.

I am going to approach this in a more sensible manner from now on. I am not Oprah Winfrey - I don't have a personal trainer to get me through daily vigorous training sessions and a chef to cook up nutritious low fat meals.

Slowly, steadily and surely. As long as we are going down and not up aye?

On a different tangent, watch a bit of The Biggest Loser tonight. Some of those women look so big, yet when they got on the scales they were around the same weight as me and sometimes a little smaller. This concerns me on many levels but the most important being: do I realise what my true image is? I look in the mirror and, by no means am I thinking "my - how slim you are?". But I don't see someone who looks like those women. So, time for reality to take it a step further. I have decided to take a photo of me in black singlet and boy type black underwear. Oh - and post it. I am going to put it all out there baby and it may just be the push I need.

Wednesday Weigh In - Week 3

2006-02-01T22:29:00.000+13:00

Week 3 of Paulene's challenge that is.

23rd weighin at weight watchers. Exactly 8 months back on weight watchers:

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 103.5kg
Loss/Gain: +100g
Kgs Lost: 6.3kg
Kgs to Goal: 38.5kg

6.3kg in 8 months. WTF is up with that? I have no commitment!! I have had to put off entering the duathlon, only 5 weeks to go and I have a hideous chest infection. I am actually very close to crying right now. I feel like, no matter what my commitment to this C25K was, life just can't throw me the ball I need to get home. I am seriously upset about this. I was determined. I struggled through that first run and I did it, I was stoked and then I got sick. Every time I blow up the balloon it gets burst on me.

Don't get me wrong, I am completely aware of how much I am self sabotaging my efforts on the food front. But I was amped for this running and I haven't had a cough for over a year and .......

Anyway, I can't really re hash it anymore. It is just sucking me into an abyss of self pity.

By the way, have to say to Anna from Waikato, thank you so much for your lovely comment on my tagboard about the photo. It is refreshing to hear of new lurkers out there.

As for everyone else, what's with only 7 comments in a couple of weeks? Am I boring everyone senseless or have you all just given up on me with my pitiful attempts?

Wednesday Weigh In

2006-01-25T21:04:00.000+13:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 103.4kg
Loss/Gain: 0kg
Kgs Lost: 6.4kg
Kgs to Goal: 38.4kg

stayed the same. Not bummed, haven't exercised, have had hideous cough that is doing my head in. Am seriously considering drastic measures on the pelvic floor front. Anyone else have this hideous problem??

WTF!!

2006-01-24T13:56:00.000+13:00

What is wrong with this blog?? I did my tag list in word then copied it to blogger and all the apostrophes, commas, hyphens etc are coming up as stragne arabic style letters. You get the general gist of it anyway.

My Turn

2006-01-24T13:46:00.000+13:00

I would say I was tagged, but - to my knowledge - I haven't been, so I am just doing it anyway:

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?

I had just completed a Certificate in Animal Science and Technology at Otago Polytechnic in Dunedin. I was about 83kg and 10 months off turning 21. I was living in a flat with a couple (don’t ever do it people!!), working at Countdown Supermarket as a Checkout Chic while I decided what direction I was heading in life next, drinking to excess 4 nights out of 7, a ‘regular’ at the Hotel Russley, single but getting plenty of action with idiots that I neither desired nor admired.

2. What were you doing a year ago?

Check it out here: http://www.naturaljules.diary-x.com/journal.cgi?entry=20050118

3. Five snacks I enjoy:

Almonds – I love good quality raw almonds
Sour Cream & Chives Grainwaves – so much more to them than potato chips
Yoghurt – nothing like a handy 150g package of yoghurt to make you feel like you are having a wee treat
Creamy Blue Cheese – love this on crackers or crumbled on the top of home made pizzas
Tim Tam, Chewy Choc Fudge – just one, a hole bitten in each end, dipped in coffee and used like a straw to suck coffee up. Melts inside, then quickly pop into mouth for where it dissolves into your taste buds. Naughty, I know

4. Five songs to which I know all the lyrics:
The Gambler – Kenny Rogers (this is my “on the turps” signature song, I sing it everywhere at the top of my voice)
Man in the Mirror – Michael Jackson
You’ve Got a Friend – Carole King
Nothing Else Matters - Metallica
My Happiness – Powderfinger

5. Five things I would do if I were a millionaire:
Pay off all my debts, including student loan.
Buy land
Eat totally organic (apart from treats)
Quit work, finish my final Naturopathy papers and set up my own business
Sponsor a child, become a member of WSPA, and volunteer somewhere useful to help out the local downtrodden

6. Five Bad Habits
Swearing – being a chic who has hung out with blokes for a great majority of the time, my language is atrocious - what the fuck is wrong with that??
Procrastination
Messy Cook – Blair always complains about the hurricane that sweeps through the kitchen when I cook but, at least the result is delicious
Staring at the TV when my kids are talking to me
Overindulgence

7. Five Things I Enjoy Doing
Internet browsing
Laughing at Stand up comedy
Actually sticking to something
A great night out with good friends, great alcohol, and live music at a half empty pub
Being in the mountains near a river

8. 5 Things I Would Never Wear (or buy or get)
Bike pants
Boob tube – it should be called a boobless tube
Skivvy’s
A blonde hair dye
A backless wedding dress – the tatts just wouldn’t look good

9. Five favourite toys:
Mortar and pestle
My cell phone
Computer
Spyhgmonamometer and stethoscope
My kids

3 Weird Things About Me:
I pull food to bits as I eat it
I have a fantastic yet irrelevant memory - eg I can remember the name of my brother-in-laws’ Aunty’s ADD kids’ preschool!!
I am terrified of dying, to the point it is ridiculous, not for my own sake but I fear for my children and their existence without me

So, there you have it, love these things as they just open us all up a bit more to blogland.

On the exercise front I have down nothing, I have had a terrible chest cough that is actually requiring me to wear an incontinence pad. Yes, you heard right!! 3 kids has done nothing for the ability to hold in the wee wee when I cough violently. It is actually really taking it out of me physically this coughing. I feel exhausted all the time. I am scared that it is just going to drag on and I won't be able to have enough time to enter this duathlon. Here's hoping it is gone by Thursday - other wise it is off to The Herbal Dispensary for me.

2006-01-18T22:50:00.000+13:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 103.4kg
Loss/Gain: +0.8kg
Kgs Lost: 6.4kg
Kgs to Goal: 38.4kg

Put on 800g since 15th December. Not too bad. And last week I was more like 104kg so have lost 600g in the last week.

Just a quick one - how many people were there at WW tonight. All the New Year's Resolutioners out in force. Crazy.

Thunder Thighs

2006-01-17T21:47:00.000+13:00

There is nothing like running after 12 years to show you a true picture of how fucken big you have actually become.

Last night I completed the first C25K run. We (the family) set off towards the local school (the 5 minute brisk walk - warm up). I was excited, yet nervous about running for the first time in so long. I was worried about how my knee was going to hold up and, as I have not yet bought the running shoes, I was worried about how the substandard old runners were going to hold up. As we headed towards the field my hopes of a smooth start were dashed. There, in the middle of the field, was a family playing cricket. I said to Blair "well, that's it then, I won't be running in front of other people". He said "don't worry about it". "Fine for you to say, you aren't the morbidly obese one that has to shudder herself up and down the field in front of strangers!". In my mind I had convinced myself I wasn't going to do it. Then Blair challenged me in a way he rarely does.

"Well, you are defeated before you have even started!" and with that he jogged off down the field. I felt sick, I felt angry and I felt ashamed. Tears welled up in my eyes and I swallowed hard to try not to start howling right there. Peta was running around after Blair and Ben was biking around on his bike. Phoebe was in the pram sleeping and I thought "Fuck it". For once in my life I wasn't going to let 'self talk' keep me from getting on with it. No more half hearted excuses to stop me getting off my arse. So I sucked it in and stretched, grabbed Ben's Spiderman watch and headed for the little running lanes on the field. And off I went.

I ran 60 seconds, then walked for 90 seconds. Then I stuffed up and ran for 90 seconds - by the 80th second I nearly collapsed in a heap. Then I walked 90 seconds and ran 30 seconds (still trying to recover after the slip up before), then walked 90 ran 60 until I had done 20 minutes in total. I have to be honest, it was not easy. To make it a bit harder I have a chest cold. But, I proved to myself that I could do it. Blair was excellent. He did the whole thing with me, egging me on, supporting me, talking me through it. I did it but not without the pain of heaving each leg into the air for each step of the running sections. I felt like I was dragging a small African nation on the back of each thigh.

Having been a person who has run quite finely in my previous skinny life - this was really hard for me to accept. I expected to just run without realising that the extra 45kg I am carrying was enough to make this a severe struggle.

And tonight - I got on the exercycle and biked 5km.

Bring it on!!

The Road I Wish To Travel

2006-01-12T14:33:00.000+13:00

As I have said previously, I plan on achieving a lot more this year on so many levels than I did last year.

Here are a few of the things I am going to be attacking in the next couple of months:

March 12th Special K Duathlon, running.

That's right, although I had stopped doing any intentional exercise, I have been coerced into getting back into it by a good buddy. My sis pulled out of the biking leg so I had thought I wasn't going to be able to do it but Megs has fired me up and she will do the biking while I attempt to run. This shall be interesting considering I have yet to purchase a decent pair of runners. I am going to start the C25K beginner's running programme and have 8.5 weeks to go until I need to come to the party. I can do it though. I can be a determined bugger when I want to be.

Paulene's 12 Week Challenge

I have entered into Paulene's 12 Week Challenge. Started yesterday and have to weigh in once a week and email my results to her so that she can add them to the other(at last count) 92 participants results. I am really looking forward to getting into it again. My aim is to lose 10kg in the 12 weeks, ending 5th April. Which will coincide with weight watchers. I had decided to give weight watchers the flick for financial reasons as the running and the other challenge's will have me losing anyway, but then I remembered my promise to myself not to quit this time until I finally got to goal. So, I will continue on my WW path (chub club as I sometimes call it) and see where it leads me. Maybe I will be next year's weight watcher of the year and meet Fergie. Have always been intrigued as to that toe sucking incident anyway!!

The Water Challenge

I know, I know .. could have come up with some more catchy headings but, who can be bothered in their first week back at work after Christmas holidays??

I am going to drink 3L of water a day - minimum. This just has to be good for me as far as the oedema and life in general goes. I have already achieved this (or come within millilitres of it) for the past 2 days. I have been visiting the toilet a thousand times an hour but hopefully it will all be worth it in the long run.

Family Evening Walks

We have started (on Blair's insistence) going for walks around the neighbourhood and the cemetry after dinner as a family. It has been highly enjoyable and sure beats mind numbing television. Although, I have to admit that this evening I will be watching TV for the second time this week to see what old Jennifer Aniston has to say about that barstard Brad. I used to crumble at the sight of that man but, although Angelina Jolie is hot, I can not forgive his betrayal!!! Tangent alert, back to the walking. These walks are providing us with extra exercise and family time in one. We also get to look at other people's gardens and houses and get ideas for the day we finally have enough dollars for our patch of land.

That's probably enough for now. Hope you are all hitting it head on too!!

And remember:

Nothing is ever achieved that stays in a dream. Take action

Ummmm

2006-01-12T10:09:00.000+13:00

What's wrong with my blog, I can't see the comments and appears you guys can't make them? Will have to sort later. Leave message on tagboard if you want to say something - down low on the left.

Bring On 2006

2006-01-11T15:13:00.000+13:00

That's what I say people - Bring It On.

I had a relatively crap arse year in 05 and am fucken glad to see the arse end of it. 2006 is my year. The year of putting words into action.

I have yet to finalise a list of the things I want to achieve this year but it will be long and varied. I need to move forward on so many levels and I feel that this is the year that I will do just that.

I have not weighed since the 14th of December at WW. I have weighed at home and figure I have put on around 1.5kg with Xmas goodies consuming. So, I estimate I am around the 104kg mark. At least I am 5.8kg lighter than I was 1st of June 05.

So, here is a photo taken at work for the newsletter to introduce me. I was 104kg when it was taken so this is me now. This is me start of 2006 and this will NOT be me at the end of 2006.

Merry Xmas

2005-12-30T13:06:00.000+13:00

Hi all, have not gone to Chubbie Clubbies over the Chrissie period. Too bloody busy eating glorius food and drinking glorious alcohol. Phoebe has had an ear infection and the time is going pretty bloody fast. Will be back at work before we know it. Hope everyone is well and look forward to catching up in the new year.

Wednesday Weigh In

2005-12-15T10:37:00.000+13:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 102.6kg
Loss/Gain: 0.00kg
Kgs Lost: 7.2kg
Kgs to Goal: 37.6kg

Maintained which is absolutely magic considering I have had Fish and Chips a couple of times, had a work bbq on Saturday and have generally eaten rather crappy at night. Days have been good.

I have taken the internet off at home for a while to try and reduce the bills over Christmas as we are a little stretched so I will only be posting from work and probably won't make too many posts over the Christmas/New Year period.

Interested to hear what everyone thinks of the new NO COUNT system at weightwatchers!!

Hope you are all well, I have not been commenting or blog hopping that much lately with work being so bloody busy.

On the Way

2005-12-07T22:21:00.000+13:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 102.6kg
Loss/Gain: -900g
Kgs Lost: 7.2kg
Kgs to Goal: 37.6kg

I knew I could do it. Shows what a wee bit of determination can do. Blood pressure is up high again and feet are massively swollen. I am really hating this side of my life with so much bad health but, I figure, the only way to get it right is to make the nutritional changes.

2.7kg to reach the double figures. 2 weighins before Xmas. 3 weighins until New Years Eve when I want to reach my 10% which is 98.8kg. So, that means 3.9kg in 3 weeks. Who knows, I may just be able to make it if I plan and be sensible. AND EXERCISE!!

This Ole Wagon is a Rollin'

2005-11-30T21:08:00.000+13:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 103.5kg
Loss/Gain: -700g
Kgs Lost: 6.3kg
Kgs to Goal: 38.5kg

Stoked, back on the trail with a vengance. That cheese grater and picnic haven't done too much damage!!

Have had a great couple of days with cereal for brekkie and plenty of fruit and wholegrain breads, avocado and tomatoes. Dinner has been the downfall. Blair has taken on the tea duties and has made sausages last night and lamb chops tonight. It is a bit hard but I am eating really well during the day to compensate for the fattier meats at night!! Last night was at A and E for a couple of hours with Ben. He jumped over Peta in the back yard and tripped and fell and landed on his elbow and has fractured it and is in a cast with his arm bent. He was such a brave wee man.

Who watched Oprah last night (kiwi gals)? It was the one that I have been going on about for ages and never got around to posting the info on. Had all the good foods to eat etc. Really informative if you can deal with Oprah and her silly little comments all the way through it.

Don't worry about me old buddies re: the pre period pain. Before I got pregnant with Phoebe I had horrific period issues, ended up having the IUD taken out and was on a 3 month break from it, after many tests and ultrasounds, when I did become pregnant. (Yes, I am extremely fertile). The next step was to check out what was going on in the bowel, as there is a right hand turn in the ileocaecal juncture that can often have problems and it can flair up at menses time due to the swelling etc. I know, too much information. But, whole point of this little yarn is to reassure you caring old souls that I am fine!!

Help!! - There's a Cheese Grater In My Right Ovary

2005-11-28T20:53:00.000+13:00

Yes, I am having absolutely terrible period pains, actually - I haven't even got the period part yet, just frickin pains.

As for the wagon ride - well, I was readying my bulbous body to haul itself back onto the wagon when the little picnic I stopped for called out to me to "come, stay a while". So, I did. All weekend in fact.

But, I eventually bid farewell to the picnic delights and jumped up on the wagon and am roaring across the prairie right this second as if the Indians were chasing me. Have had a lovely healthy point friendly day. Even though I could hear those barstards back at the picnic hollering at me all the way back on the wagon trail. But, I didn't turn the horses around. I kept on going.

So, hope all you cow poke are doing the travelling as well. Happy trails!!

12 Things About Me

2005-11-26T14:40:00.000+13:00

12 MOVIES THAT I LOVE (In no particular order.)
1. Whale Rider
2. The Power of One
3. Lord of the Rings Trilogy
4. Elf
5. Garden State
6. The Neverending Story
7. Return of the Jedi
8. Once Were Warriors
9. In My Father’s Den
10. Happy Gilmour
11. The Shawshank Redemption
12. Chronicles of Narnia (now I haven’t seen this yet but I know I will love it)
11 BANDS/ARTITST THAT I LIKE
1. Tool
2. Metallica
3. Tracey Chapman
4. Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac
5. Destiny’s Child
6. Cold Chisel
7. Powderfinger
8. Trinity Roots
9. The Feelers
10. The Eagles
11. Black Sabbath
10 THINGS ABOUT ME
1. My birthday is 20th October 1975
2. I have 2 younger brothers (26 & 23), one younger sister (28) and an older half sister who I hardly know (about 38)
3. I have 3 children, one long-haired black and white cat and a fiancé.
4. I live within 2.5km of my parents, one brother and my younger sister (and they don’t all live together.
5. I am a qualified veterinary nurse.
6. I have curly dark brown hair.
7. I hate gardening, but one day think I will love it.
8. I want to own a horse by the time I am 40.
9. I want to own my own business.
10. I am paranoid about dying.

9 GOOD FRIENDS I HAVE
1. Kim
2. Jenn
3. Sandi
4. Mish
5. Amy
6. Nic
7. Megan
8. Leigh (yes, you!)
9. Zara (and yes, you too!!)
8 FAVORITE FOODS/DRINKS
1. Bundaberg Lemon, Lime & Bitters
2. Garlic Naan breads with Butter Chicken
3. Almonds
4. V8 vege juice
5. Fresh Salmon
6. Tiramisu
7. Creamy Blue Cheese
8. Jamie Oliver’s Fish Pie
7 THINGS I WEAR DAILY
1. Knickers
2. Bra
3. Moisturiser
4. Some of Phoebe’s food
5. Deodorant
6. A smile
7. Shoes
6 THINGS I HATE
1. Losing control
2. Being too controlling
3. Financial stress
4. Ill health/obesity
5. Bigots
6. The smell of rotten farts
5 THINGS I DO DAILY
1. Obsess about losing weight
2. Long for something I don’t have
3. Eat
4. Tell my man I love him.
5. Long for more hours in the day
4 SHOWS I WATCH
1. McLeod’s Daughters
2. Downsize Me
3. Scrubs
4. Lost
THE LAST 3 PLACES I'VE LIVED
1. Christchurch NZ
2. Greymouth NZ
3. Palmerston North NZ
2 THINGS I WANT
1. Health, Wealth and Happiness
2. A Holden Commodore V8 clubsport (horny baby)
1 PERSON I WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW
1. My aunty, she died 2001, I loved her and miss her dearly.

The Lost Boys

2005-11-25T21:04:00.000+13:00

Now, who remembers this timeless classic from the rip roaring 80's?? Just as I sat down to start my first "full on catch up on other people's blogs for ages" session, this classic started on Prime. Now, I am tempted to change channels to watch Rove in half an hour, but how can I? The music is great, Cold Chisel is thrown in there, Corey Haim, Corey Feldman and Keifer Sutherland. A classic. And they have the coolest Alaskan Malamute (sp??). I want one!!

Okay, trip down memory lane is over.

After two excellent days tracking ..... Pizza. That is all I am saying. It is done, it is over. I stopped the wagon for a picnic, I have hopped back on and we are on the trail again.

Now, did I tell you in all the confusion that I bought new jeans for the first time in fricking ages? I am talking about actual jeans. Denimn jeans. I have not bought jeans for fucking years. I lie, I bought a pair of fake jeans, you know, they look like jeans but they are not actually real heavy denim. And the best thing, the jeans were size 18!!!! The try-hard ones from a few years ago were size 24!! Things are weird in my head about it all. I mean, I am only 5.6kg down, officially as of Wednesday night, but I seem to be able to fit all these way smaller clothes. I know I still retain a shitload of fluid in the old cankles so maybe that accounts for some of it.

A bit sick of trying to analyze every little thing about the weight thing. So, I will just go with it. I am a size 18 and I had better damn well enjoy it. Have a lovely day people.

And the Damage is.....

2005-11-23T21:26:00.000+13:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 104.2kg
Loss/Gain: +700g
Kgs Lost: 5.6kg
Kgs to Goal: 39.2kg

Not really too bad for a month of wayward wonton eating. I don't mean actually eating wontons, I mean sort of haphazardly. Tomorrow I am back on the wagon, horses are hitched, feedbags are full and we are off heading across the prairie of weightloss and health.

I have been eating pretty well and it is premenstrual week, as it was a month ago when I had the horrific "Gain" the night before my 30th birthday. So, I am pretty confident that I have maintained and not really gained over the past month of down in the dumpedness.

So, pick your bottom lip up off the floor, stop using all those Xmasy functions as an excuse to pig out and join me in the downhill slide to Christmas and New Year. I have 5 weighins before New Year. I sure as hell don't plan to let some socialising and hilarity stand in my way of hitting 2006 in the double digits. I refuse to hit another year as a triple figured fatty.

I need that bloody 10% goal to be reached. I need that fricking little token that WW gives out when you reach it. 98.8kg is that goal. That is 5.4kg needed to be gone for good. Let's get going Julesee and reach that goal - for fuck's sake.

Where Do I Start??

2005-11-16T20:32:00.000+13:00

I know, I know, long time no see.

I have obviously been extremely busy. Not only with work, which is busy but great, but also with life in general. It's that time of year where everyone is demanding your time. Social situations for Africa!! And, a bit of the old depression/anxiety has reared it's ugly head. Have had a few weeks of quite hard times in the old head department and my self image has taken a plummet. I haven't gone to Weight Watchers since that horrible pre-birthday weighin. I don't think I have put any weight on, who knows. The clothes are still feeling loose and I received heaps on compliments at the wedding on Saturday. Had a great time with some old buddies and had an all nighter!! Blair and I sat down and yarned for hours about where we want to be and how we want to get there.

So, things may be looking up. I need to face the facts that I can't afford to give up on the Weight Watchers thing. I would have gone tonight but I only have $12 and that is not enough to catch up on 4 weeks unpaid fees!! I can make it next week though and will be there with bells on. Well, maybe minus the bells as I don't really need anything extra to up the scales. I have come a long way in my terms and I need to keep going. I need to not let the mind games fuck up the health for me. I am going to work out the head shit. I have before and will again. I think the whole new job, full on life thing is hard but I need to cope with it and get on. So, next week I head back to Chub Club and see what the month's abscence has done on the scale front. Then I go hard. And that doesn't mean that the next week is going to be a blast out. I need veges and fruit. I need them so much. I need water and from tomorrow morning I am on 26 pts recorded every day again. I am still breastfeeding morning and night. It may be time to think about ceasing, but for the moment I am hanging on to my little bond with my last bubba!!

Here's to a restart of a journey that I refuse to turn back on.

Thanks for all your comments and worry. It is so nice to know that everyone out there is behind me all the way and I can't wait to catch up on all of you and see where you are at. I have honestly missed reading about my online buddies and it has been quite lonely without the constant little tidbits.

Let's get it on!!!!!!!!!!1

Hello People

2005-11-12T08:44:00.000+13:00

I am here, I am alive and I am doing nothing on the healthy person front. I have had a few weeks of mental anguish, maybe over turning 30, maybe over all the social events. In any case, I will update soon. Off to a wedding this afternoon and hopefully will catch up on some blogs tomorrow and update a good and proper entry on my own.

Quickie

2005-10-26T20:37:00.002+13:00

Just a real quick one to say:

Didn't go to weigh in tonight, forgot and ate Indian instead.
Party was excellent, I was last one still partying at 4.45am!!
Have had a terrible eating week but lots of fun!!

Catch up soon.

Wednesday Weigh In - Week 16

2005-10-19T21:54:00.000+13:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 103.5kg
Loss/Gain: +700g
Kgs to Goal: 38.5kg

Really, this should have been titled "Crying". Now, I know better than anyone that my premenstrual week is always a gain week. But I had so much to back me up to make it a loss. Then today hit and all the signs pointed to a gain. I couldn't go number two's again. Fucken nervous systerm. Something about weigh in day makes my sphincter clamp shut. And then I got to weigh in and the bloody right scales were unmanned and the only scale I could go to was the one with the stupid woman who is my all time jinx. And sure enough - got off the scales and was told "Gain, 700g"

So, I am back up to 103.5kg. And I hit my 30's as a fat hundy chic. I don't know why this has gutted me so much. I suppose it is the downside of setting yourself a challenge. If you don't perform the psychological effect can be immense. I actually nearly started to cry when jinx woman told me. I wanted to punch her and say "It's all your fault". I relaxed at the weekend - sure. But I had points up my sleeve for it. I didn't use hardly any of my bonus points from last week's exercise. Yesterday I had two poached eggs on multigrain toast for breakfast, a Feta and tomato toasted sandwich, yoghurt and fresh fruit salad for lunch, a low point homemade malaysian Peanut Chicken Satay with Basmati rice for dinner and some cruskits for snacks. Today I had a grapefruit, a pear, some nutrigrain with lite soy and a piece of multigrain toast with tomato and a small serve of feta for breakfast, 2 small olive and herb pita breads with 98% fat free honey roasted chicken breast, tomato, lettuce and lite mayo for lunch, another pear and an apple for afternoon tea and a yoghurt for morning tea. I did Tae Bo on Monday morning, biked 10km last night and then got up and did Tae Bo again this morning. I have stuck strictly to points every day so far this week. Even went one point under on Monday. And I earnt 8.5 bonus points just in the last three days. Amazing that the scales can have such a profound effect on me. It made me feel and act fat. I felt slimmer today. After scales I felt terrible and bloated and fat. And I came home and bought fish and chips for tea and got a hazlenut snickers bar. I not only feel sick and defeated but I know that I consciously made the choice to binge because the scales weren't kind. I know that it is probably all fluid gain and that I would have lost it next week but, somehow, that just didn't make me feel any better. I had a goal and I fell short by a long shot!!

So I head into my 30's, at midnight, with 3.5kg (nearly half a stone) to go to make the 90's and low self confidence for my party on Saturday night. It is a dress up party with the theme: Blast from the Past. I am dressing up as Janis Joplin and Blair is hoping to dress up as Isaac from the Love Boat (the dark bartender). Hilarious!!

Life has been really great up until tonight. I was feeling so in control and positive. I feel healthy and full of energy. Now I feel deflated and like a pile of steaming dog shit.

Tae Bo Your Ass Billy Blanks!!

2005-10-17T21:08:00.000+13:00

Got up this morning and sweated away with Billy Blanks doing Tae Bo. At one point I was actually answering him and yelling away like a plonker. But, I did it - at 6.15am no less. And I have finished another day in organised worksville. Beds made and all.

This is not going to be a long one, have just washed and dried the dishes and am gong to settle down to watch Desperate Housewives. I relate so Lynette, the blonde stressed out mother.

Today had wholegrain vitabrits for breakfast with lite soy milk and a pear. Two cruskits with marmite for morning tea. A feta and tomato wholegrain toasted sandwich for lunch with a berry crumble Yoplait yoghurt and an apple. Another apple for afternoon tea and for dinner, homemade burgers with lettuce, tomato, cucumber and avocado, mayo and tommie sauce. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy!

Am on track, although the old fluid is building up in the PMT week. I don't expect to reach the 90's - it is pretty much impossible in the premenstrual week. But, I am rocking my way there pretty quickly.

KFC!!

2005-10-13T21:47:00.000+13:00

Before we get upset about this we must realise that I actually handled KFC. An unorganised dinner time tonight led to me out buying gumboots for Blair at 8pm. WTF!!! Anyway, the kids had tea and we hadn't and I wanted something fast. Went through the drivethru. And I got:

A works burger
A small potato and gravy.

Yes, I finally had something click in me. I can have things like this on the odd occasion. But, and here's the breakthrough moment, I don't have to go mad just because I am allowing myself a treat. I can have the treat in a normal amount. I can control myself.

Have stuck to points. Whoops, actually I have gone 2 pts over as I had a yoghurt for dessert. Oh well. I'm okay.

Didn't bike this morning as I have done something to my gammy knee.

Wednesday Weigh In - Week ??

2005-10-12T19:51:00.000+13:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Goal Weight: 65kg
Current Weight: 102.8kg
Loss/Gain this week: -1.0kg
Kgs Lost so Far: 7kg

Yes dedicated followers!! A two week absence doesn't seem to have been too bad for the "oh so natural" one. A 1.0kg loss!! And all while desperately needing to do No. 2's. For some unknown reason my body goes into "nervous tension" mode on Weigh in day and something stops my colon from working normally.

Still leaves me 4kg to hit the 10% mark by next week and 2.9kg to get to the magic "90's" by my 30th birthday. But, as I said yesterday, as long as I am happy and healthy and moving in the right direction - things are great!!!

Got up this morning, biked my 5km in 13mins 26 secs, organised as hell, beds made, dishes done, out the door, at work on time. Weetbix (well technically - Vitabrits, they are 98% wholegrains so I tried them instead) and banana with lite soy for breakfast. K-time raspberry and yoghurt twist bar for morning tea. 98% fat free honey roasted chicken breast, feta, tomato and lettuce sandwich for lunch with a pear and a Yoplait Cheesecake yoghurt. Dried apricots for afternoon tea and my favourite Lasagne for tea. This is about 9.5pts for a big piece of Lasagne. Uses fresh lasagne sheets, premium lo fat mince, pasta sauce and - the cheese sauce is only put on the top and it consists of a 250g pottle of garlic and chives cottage cheese and a 250g of lite cream cheese mixed. Topped with a sprinkling of grated edam cheese. Yummi'flipin'licious.

Really enjoyed my WW meeting. Was great and I got a free "Change 4 Good" booklet and this is a wee quote out of it that I loved and totally identified with:

Babies learn to walk like this:

Start out well.... Fall down... Crawl back into position.... OK. Time to get up again

None of us would ever expect a baby to simply get up and walk, but some of us do expect that we can go from our start weight to our Goal weight without any "whoops", "ouch" or toe-bumping moments.
Humans are imperfect creatures (sorry to say) and as humans, we can all expect some setbacks along any path to change.

I will leave you with that!!

The Traps of the Office Lunch

2005-10-11T22:46:00.000+13:00

Being the progressive funky company, we do Team Meetings once a month and at said Team Meetings we have Team Lunches. Luckily I knew ahead of schedule about this and could plan. I had a light brekkie with only 3pts worth of toast with Lime marmalade. Had no morning tea and then had a chicken and corn vol au vent, one club sandwich and half a muffin for lunch. Totalled 10pts. Had water with lunch and a coffee for afternoon tea. Didn't have anything to eat after work and we didn't eat dinner till 8pm. The kids had already been fed by my parents before I picked them up. Bonus!! So Blair and I could have something spicy. Had Thai Coconut, Chilli and Lime stirfried chicken on basmati rice. Then had a Pinky bar for dessert. And I came in 1.5pts over. But, I had gotten up early and biked my 5km in 13 mins 11 secs, so ..... cheated a bit and used the bonus points earnt by that ride and therefore, was still on track with points!

Two days in a row!!

Organised, on track, exercising and eating yummy food to boot!! And all this while having the temptation of Coke in the fridge. It has been there since Sunday and that is two days more than any other bottle of coke has sat in our fridge.

Am back to WW tomorrow night after a two week absence due to lack of funds. Excited but also nervous. I still have one week to go on my challenge and have 5kgs to go. Would hate to be totally off the mark by having a gain. Then again, as long as I hit 30 feeling like I am sending my life and health in the right direction then, I can only be happy - aye??

Hope everyone else is as pumped up as I am for the coming warmer months.

Just bought a top off Trade me that had never been worn in a size 18. Not sure if it will fit as I still have major breasts but, a little bit more gone and I'm sure it will look fab!

I also bought this one for my sister. Had the great idea that this could be passed back to me when I hit goal!! Crafty huh??

Here's a close up to show paisley detail.

Yay, Things Are Pumping

2005-10-10T20:56:00.000+13:00

Things just seem to be falling into place, finally.

First day officially at work today and I was on fire. Started with having the house and kids etc all sussed last night. Now, I got up at 6.20am and biked 5km in 13 mins and 24 secs. Then I cooked up some brown rice for my lunch. Mixed it with some tinned salmon and some sweet chilli sauce with ginger and coriander. Had a tamarillo before I biked to give me that little carb boost. Read on the Special K Duathlon website, under the nutrition part, (or was it the training part?), that it was important to have a drink and a small carb portion before exercising. So I had a tamarillo
and a glass of water. Had two more tamarillos for morning tea. Then had my brown rice and salmon creation for lunch. No afternoon tea and came home and had to scrape together a dinner made out of whatever was left in the house. Day 14 of our fortnightly pay period and it was old mother hubbards house. We had Watties Steakhouse patties and veges. Not very exciting but completely in my points.

So how is this for my first working day: exercise - check, organised - check, enjoyed work - check, healthy eating - check, water - check, no snacking after work - check, completely within points - check. Friggin legend - check.

Burnt on Trademe

2005-10-07T08:10:00.000+13:00

Okay, so - after singing the praises of Trademe I have to say I have had my first bad experience. I paid for 2 pumpkin patch tops and an urban angel skirt for Peta.

Here is the photo that was on TradeMe:

What arrived was the items that were listed and shown, but in a disgusting state. The white top is all stained and filthy. I wouldn't even stick something like that in a clothing bin! The pink top has a yellow stain on the back that is gross and the skirt has been ripped down one side and had a hatchet job done on it to sew it up. I was so gutted. I don't expect brand new items but I think it is only common decency to write in the auction if the stuff is shit!! I am going to post the worst comment. I have emailed but the bitch hasn't bothered to reply to me so she is getting the feedback from hell!!

Have had so many great suggestions on how to avoid the "danger zone". Thanks guys. Zara, I think taping the piehole shut is probably the most drastic yet probable the most workable!! LOL. The suggestions that I have dinner earlier is great but not practicle. The danger zone is 5pm till dinner is served. I finish work at 5.15pm and then go and pick the kids up and will arrive home at around 5.45pm. Then I have to make tea. Blair has said he is going to pick his game up as he finishes at 4.30pm and will be home before me and said he will make dinner/tea. The likelihood of this actually happening is about 0.00001%. It may happen for a day or two but he will soon slip into male mode and expect one of my culinary delights. Actually, I have to be fair, I find his cooking rather substandard. I am a bit of a control freak and find that he does things his way and they are just not up to par!! I know, it is terrible of me and I will probably have to build a bridge. So, the suggestions of healthy snacks are probably the ones I will go with. KiwiGalsRock, I would love to go to the gym after work but three little darlings demand that I don't have that luxury!!

I have a great thing happening. Blair is deciding that he wants to eat all healthy and get fit too. Now, this makes things a lot easier in the fact that I will be able to create the famous "no fail environment" that I have always longed to have. I mean, it is all fine and dandy to dictate what the kids will have but Blair is another story. Actually, he has the cheek to suggest that he becomes my trainer. Trainer in what?? Bloody drinking and eating. Men always think they can kick your arse in anything don't they? I suppose the upside of this is that I am determined to get way fitter than him and be able to say "Train that mother f*%er"!

Food has been average. The bread is the demon in my house at the moment. Jen has a great entry on sugar/carbs etc which I really related to and am hoping that I can implement a bit of her ideas. I mean, no bloody white carbs or processed sugary crap would be a start wouldn't it. I think I radiate to bread because it is so easy just to slap some spread on and shovel in.

Enough whining. Ciao

One Man's Junk is Another Man's Treasure

2005-10-05T08:32:00.000+13:00

I have decided to sell a few things on Trade Me (kiwi version of Ebay). Have bought plenty on it, usually bloody diet books!! But, last week decided to offload a couple of items of clothing that I have that are too big for me now. I mean, why have them sitting in the wardrobe tempting me to get back into them??

So I have listed a couple of things and made $33 for 3 things!! So, that is $33 for interim sized clothing for me. I mean, I don't see the point in splashing out on new clothes when I intend to keep losing. So, have bought a nice stripey top for work and have bought Peta three pumpkin patch things. Feeling pretty bloody "bargain hunter of the year" right now!

Full day at work went well yesterday. Went throught the invoicing procedure that only happens a couple of days a month. Was quite involved, as have never used Accountant's Office or MYOB before, but I got the gist of it by the end of the day. Eating was excellent while at work. Had two pieces of multigrain toast for breakfast with avocado and sliced tomato, seasalt and cracked pepper. Then for morning tea had a small slice banana cake and a pear. (Yes, I know, I made a banana cake on Friday and at 6pts for one small piece it is a frickin nightmare to have in the house!!). For lunch I had a lettuce, avocado, tomato and black olive salad with a light spray of olive oil and a squeeze of lemon juice. And a mandarin and a tamarillo. Then a drink of blackcurrant juice for afternoon tea. Then had a homemade Chicken Thai Green Curry with Basmati rice for tea. Would have been completely in points range if it hadn't been for the three pieces of bread with lite butter that I shovelled in to the abyss while waiting for tea. So, once again, I come to the problem of that danger zone. That period between getting home from work and sitting down for dinner. How do I suppress the hunger to allow time to get the dinner in???

The New Job

2005-10-03T15:34:00.000+13:00

Started for my first morning at the new job today. Loved it!! Completely different feel to the other place. Premises are all light and airy. I am on front desk and have floor to ceiling glass in front of me. Processes are all in place and everything runs smoothly. Was learning the invoicing structure and how the accountant's work with their timesheets etc. Completely different to anything I have ever worked with. Every 6 mins are accounted for in some sort of coding/job sort of way. It is just so organised, I love it!! And one of the partners asked me to reword a blurb about the company in around 40 words. She said there are going to be plenty of instances where she is going to require me to help with the marketing side of things. I love marketing so I am pumped up to the max.

Bonus of being at work?? Eating in a way more structured manner!! Had breakfast and then a pear for morning tea. Was back home for lunch today, but in future will have lunch at work and tea/dinner will already be organised for the evening. Just not all that much time to eat. And, will have to have a strategy in place for that danger zone of 5pm - 6.30pm. This has always been my HUNGRY time and I usually randomly stuff food items into my cake hole without even blinking. So, I need to have some sort of chewing gum/muesli bar/carrot stick sort of strategy so that I don't max out on the points at this time of day. Maybe a scroggin style mix with seeds, nuts and raisins.

Thanks to everyone for their lovely comments on my new blog theme. I love love love it and appreciate the comments. It took a bit of time to incorporate my things into it (eg tagboard, site meter etc) but was worth it. I am feeling so great about this side of my life at the moment. Just have to work on the man side of things now. We seem to be miscommunicating and have been for around 2 weeks. I feel like I talk but no one is listening and I think he feels that I go against everything that he says with regard to the kids. Feels like a neverending battle but we will get there. Leigh sent me a great email about this sort of thing and I may just post some of it here (have to ask her permission first).

I recall, many many weeks ago saying about the Oprah show that had all the healthy foods etc on it. I never did get around to posting those things so will try and get onto it this week, as it is pretty good info.

By the way, I did go and buy my veges and fruit as promised. Didn't go to the organic market I wanted to go to as I just couldn't be stuffed with town traffic. And with TOM being a visitor, I was doubley as strung up as usual, so went to another place instead. Spent $40 on fruit and veg and got: kumara, parsnips, carrots, tamarillos, pears, kiwifruit, oranges, avocados, bananas, tomatoes, spring onions, lettuce, potatoes, zucchini and some tomato and cheese sausages!! I know, the sausies aren't quite the healthy thing but it is barbie season afterall and they do have tomato in them!! And I made a fresh juice on Sunday morning. I used 4 grapefruit, an orange and 2 tangelos and got one cup of juice. It was tasty but all frothy. And it took bloody ages to clean the juicer machine. But definitely gave me a good citrus burst.

Love you guys for all the support. And Lynise, do get that journal up and running again, it is the best form of therapy I have ever found.

A New Look and A Fresh Feel

2005-10-01T09:32:00.000+12:00

What do you think?? I LOVE it so, if you don't then tough! I love love love purple tulips. My absolute fav flower and I was a bit sick of the green blogger template. I got this design from Caz (see link in credits at bottom left of blog). She has some excellent designs.

So I feel fresh and new and am on track already with weetbix, banana and soy lite for brekkie. Am off to get lots of veges and fruit as per my plan for the weekend. May even do up a juice or two. In saying that, better get going as changing the template has taken me a while as I add in all my personal touches. Haven't got all my links up yet, only Angel, Lyn and DG. Will have you all in there soon and then I will feel completely satisfied on the blog front.

She's Gone!!!!!!!!!! BWAHHAHHAHHHA

2005-09-30T10:37:00.000+12:00

Jordis has left the building!! She had pretty much had enough and wasn't performing to her potential and is out of there. I cried with her!!
That is all I will say.

I am just giving a quick entry to update everyone on where I am. I have been busy with the old school holiday buzz and Phoebe is still sick and we can now add Ben to the mix as he is sick too!!

Signed, sealed and delivered the contract, start on Monday morning for a half day, Tuesday for a whole day and then have the rest of the school holidays off and start officially on the 10th Oct.

I didn't go to WW this week as I just could not afford it. I tell you what, it will be a blessing when the pay packet from the new job finally starts coming in. I did weigh myself at my sister's place yesterday and was 102kg. Her scales weighed me the same as WW ones last week but being that all scales are temperamental, we can't confirm the accuracy of that measurement. But hopefully I have lost a little.

Am finding adjusting to 6 less points a day quite a hard job. I have cut down to only 2 breastfeeds a day and therefore have given myself the bottom quota of allowable b/feeding points, which is 26. I still have to do a bit of daily allocating though. Seem to eat way too many points at the end of the day and then still go over. Not good.

Am still not exercising. Blah!! Not too worried at the moment. I am hoping to find a whole new groove when I start work. There is just no way I can work fulltime, organise three kids and run a household, all the while fitting in time for myself and Blair, without implementing some sort of routine. I might be like the Supernanny and do up a wallchart with all of our routines on it. I will put it somewhere discreet though.

I have 3 weeks till the big three O!! Semi freaking out. Don't know why, just am. Am praying to reach my 10% but, at this point people, would just jump for joy if I could become a 90's girl. Please please let me be a 90's girl.

Bonus of the Week:

Having no clothes to wear on a cold day when had to go to hand in my contract. Wore and wore well: pair of brown pants that I have not been able to wear in over 5 years. When I was in the mid 90's!! Size 18 NZ. Sweet!!!!!!!!!!!

I suppose all good things can't happen at once so I have to be grateful for them one at a time.

Goals for the Weekend:

Eat a shit load of veges and fruit.
Go for a walk.
Drink lots of water.

Goals for early next week:

Exercise damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Track, track, track!!
Enjoy new job and be confident and organised.

Goals for end of next week:

Hang out with kids and enjoy last of the school hols with them. Do something fun that involves healthy food and exercising. eg bike park with yummy picnic lunch.
Go to weight watchers.
keep tracking, exercising.
Plan my routine for the family and inform them of it.
Get school uniforms sussed for summer for Peta and Ben.
Celebrate Phoebe's half birthday on Oct 6th, Thursday. (Hasn't 6 months flown by??)

So much for the quick update

Have a lovely weekend my fellow pie eaters.

Random Drug Testing, Peta's Perspective and Changing Uniforms

2005-09-23T10:16:00.000+12:00

Why is it that a school decides to change their summer uniform without informing the parents?? I went to the kids' school website to check what socks the boys should wear in summer and found that the whole girl's uniform has been changed. I have just shelled out for white ankle socks for Peta and now I find that they should now be navy or grey ankle socks. And they no longer wear navy cullottes, they now wear navy drill shorts. You think they would let the people that buy the friggin uniforms know this vital information. Buggers.

My poor wee 6 year old ("I'm nearly 7 Mum!!") is going through the horrible joys of life at the moment. She has a little friend at school that just went on a little holiday to the Australian Gold Coast. She told a couple of her wee friends, including Peta, that she would be bringing them back a present. Peta was very excited about this. I tried to let her be aware of the fact that people don't always do what they say they are going to do and to not be disappointed if she didn't. Anyho, this wee lass got back this week and brought 3 presents to school for, supposedly, the 3 girls she had said she was going to bring them for. As school girl relationships have it, she has decided that one of the other girls will get a present ahead of Peta. Now, my wee Peta is a very emotional wee lass. She has a great heart and goes out of her way to be nice to people and, even though it has happened a number of times, refuses to believe that people won't stick to what they say. This morning she came out with a shoe box full of little beads and a couple of crayons. She said "Mum, I hope you don't mind but I am going to give this present to O (little holiday returning girl)". I opened the box and inside was a note to O.
Dear O, you have one lovele present left. You pinke promsed me that you would bring me a present. Luv Peta

Ohh bless. The wee darling is already learning how to guilt people into doing stuff. There were much tears as I explained that she would not be able to take that "gift" and that it was not really appropriate to give O the note. I explained all about friendship being about the memories and feelings and comradery and to not get hung up on the gift. She cried more and told me she was angry at O for promising and then not doing what she said. I explained that this happens all the time in life and that she should not be angry but stand proud and deal with it strongly. Ben (my middle child, 5 yrs) gave her a hug and said "It's your birthday soon Peta and you will get a hundred presents so don't worry". Children. We have so many lessons to teach them.

As for the Random Drug Testing: Has anyone ever had a contract that has Random Drug Testing written into it? I have not yet signed my contract and am going to be questioning the inclusion of this clause. I mean, I am the administrator for an accountant, why the hell the need for such an invasive random procedure. It says, failure to comply with required tests for non-prescription drugs, stimulants and alcohol will be classed as serious misconduct and result in immediate dismissal. it does not say what will happen if you willingly do the tests and come up with a positive result. I am going to enquire more. I don't have a problem - I quite openly admit to having the occasional green cigarette over the course of a year. I do not smoke on any big level. Probably once a month in social situations - if that. But, I do not see what that has to do with my employer!! I am not flying a plane or working on high buildings. I am sitting in a friggin office. This is a dilemma for moi as I am quite high on sticking to my own ethical and moral high ground (excuse the pun). Any advice, experience, comments would be much appreciated.

Wednesday Weigh In - Week 13

2005-09-22T16:41:00.000+12:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 103.8kg
Kgs Lost: 6kg
Kgs to Goal: 38.8kg

Holy shit - I lost 300g! I have now lost a whopping 6kg which is un-flippin-believable considering the mass quantities of food consumed over the weekend. May catch up on me next weigh in though. Update soon.

Off the Wagon

2005-09-20T09:38:00.000+12:00

Yes, I have fallen off the wagon. With a gigantic thud. Actually, I have fallen off and been left miles back on the prairie looking around for Laura Ingalls and hoping like hell that the Indians aren't going to turn up on their Pintos to scalp my fat noggin!!

It started on Thursday with Fish and Chips for tea. I managed to pile a burger, a fish, a hot dog and a handful of chips into my pie hole (thanks Zara!!) at the speed of light. And I was completely not even feeling full so washed it down with some raspberry and coke. Quick estimate of about 40 points in one foul swoop!! Then Friday had a good start to the day with Muesli and soy, a wholegrain salad sandwich for lunch and things were looking fine!! Then I failed to eat when hungry so then became over hungry and while dropping Blair at the pub, called into McDonald's Drive Thru (mental note: Drive Thrus's should be illegal as they make it too easy for fatties to drive up and order without even thinking about the consequences). Quickly slipped a Quarter Pounder into the order for the kids. Wolfed down said Quarter Pounder in a matter of seconds while driving back to my sisters. Left wrapper in car (of course). Didn't want to admit to consuming burger in moment of weakness. Then, ate a couple of the kids McNuggets. Then sat down and ate Butter Chicken with my sister and her husband. Could not finish!! (Really, not any room in your tum for a real meal). Drank two KGB Black Russian premixes. Saturday morning, can't even remember what I had for breakfast, muesli again I think. Can't remember what I had for lunch either. For dinner went to a buffet restaurant with Blair's family. Ate: chicken, baked ham, roast beef, fried fish, chips, mayo, samosas, roast veges, pavlova, chocolate eclair, fruit salad, chocolate mousse and a bit of trifle. Shared a caraffe of coke with Blair. Where are we?? Sunday. Got up early to go to Goose Bay, south of Kaikoura - 2 hours north up the coast from Christchurch. Left in a hurry and thought we would grab some breakfast on the way. Went to Burger King drive thru and this BK didn't do breakfast menu. So had a BK Chicken with cheese. For Breakfast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While driving we ate a packet of Rolos, a packet of mentos and I had a bottle of V. Got to Goose Bay for birthday party. Ate lots of garlic bread, chicken, rice, 2 sausages, chocolate cake, cream, ice cream, and Just Juice Bubbles. Drove home feeling sick. Got home and had a cup of soup and an egg and cheese toastie for dinner. Then the snow hit yesterday, shutting the city down. Had to get supplies in case we were trapped for a couple of days inside. Did I get veges?? Don't be silly. Got mini chocolate eclairs filled with bavarian custard cream and iced with belgian chocolate. Got a roast lamb. Brought some Thai Green Curry chips, some lollies, some Irvines Mince and Cheese Balls, some more fries and just ate heaps all day. Finished day off with lashings of chocolate chippie bisuits washed down with a big mug of milo. And no wonder I am bunged up and feel like a big pile of dog shit. The problem is: I just let myself go. I didn't even try to call that wagon back. I lay in the dust and watched it disappear while stuffing my face. Now I have to walk my arse all the way after the wagon and hopefully find it again.

Okay, sorry for myself whinge is over::

Am off to sign my new contract today at lunch time. They (at new job) have asked me to come in at lunch time (with my lunch) to sign my contract. Okay, what do you take to eat to lunch with new work colleagues that you have never met. Definitely not a souvalaki!! Don't want to take anything unhealthy. Fat people don't eat fat food in front of people they don't know. Nothing that can spill and nothing that reeks!! Water maybe!!

So, have to move my buttocks and get back on track. Need veges, need fruit, need water. Need to organise my house in preparation for fulltime work. Need to win Lotto. Blah blah

Thanks everyone for your lovely comments and supportive suggestions. It is so great having this network. I couldn't do it without you all. I must apologise for not having my links to legends up to date. I read so many more journals now but I haven't linked to them.

Have I Mentioned ... I'm a Job Seeker Extraordinaire??

2005-09-17T08:12:00.000+12:00

Of course, I got the other job too!! Then I had to make the sickening phone call to the other place to let them know that I had received a better offer on the career front and, unfortunately, was going to have to resign.

And their response?? Anger? No! Shittiness? No! What then? They pleaded with me to stay. It was horrible. I got offered a $2 an hour payrise, fulltime hours, extended position responsibilities etc etc. But, as I explained, the other job has different aspects to it which are outside the parameters of what I have done before, therefore allowing me to expand my experience and enhance my future career prospects.

So I start officially at the new job on 10th October. They have given me the school holidays at home with the kids. I just have to go in for one and half days on 3/4th Oct to do a bit of training. Scary stuff.

What is scary is that one of my old referees was away when the new job called so the admin manager decided to throw in a good word for me on the manager's behalf. Really great but she decided to go over board a bit and tell them that I was an expert with IT. Ummm, and the new boss said, since you are so good with IT we will get you to manage our website. No problems - is it blogger templated?? Fudge packers!! I may have to do a quick three week course in basic IT. Does anyone actually know what IT encompasses? If so, let me know and I'll see if I can wing it.

Blair and Mum think I am a bit of a smart ass landing two jobs in two weeks but, when you've got it you've got it!! As you can tell, this has not gone to my head at all.

Phoebe is sick again. Lucky Mum and Dad are her new caregivers while I am working. She just has that blocked up snot thing with a bit of a cough thrown in for good measure.

New photo:

Wednesday Weigh In -Week 12 ( Really 15)

2005-09-14T21:20:00.000+12:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 104.1kg
Loss/Gain: -1kg
Kgs Lost: 5.7kg
Kgs to Goal: 39.1kg

How stoked am I?? Have not been to WW since the 17th August and have not put on any weight, in fact, I have lost 1kg!! Really stoked. Can't rest on my laurels though. Have to get to that 10% by my 30th. I think I have 5 weeks to go. Need to get to 98.8kg so still have 5.3kg to go!! That's just over a kg a week. Better get moving.

On the other fronts:

Have started my new job. It is infuriating me at the moment. I started on Monday and have still to learn anything at all that I don't already know how to do. eg: I have learnt how to write up chqs, code up petty cash and batch up creditors. I have done this a thousand times before. Anyway, I was phoned on Thursday last week about another job that I had applied for a couple of weeks ago. I hadn't heard anything so presumed that I wasn't successful in getting an interview. Anyway, had a phone interview with one of the managing directors on Sunday over the phone for 40 minutes and she told me that she thought I sounded awesome. So I went for an interview yesterday after work and they will ring my referees tomorrow morning and then get back to me and have asked me to hold off saying yes to any other jobs until then. I have not told them about the job I have just taken on. I feel terrible as I don't want to be a bitch and leave the other job after a week, but, on the other hand, it is doing my head in. The place has no structure at all. It looks like they have just moved into the offices as there is shit everywhere, but they have been there for years!! And the bus thing is doing my head in as well. You really learn about the city you live in when you use the public transport system. Not flash!!!!

The other job is fulltime but it is not in the city so I can drive and will only be an extra hour later than if I bus to the other part time job. And the biggest plus is that I would be actually getting more money than we were. With this new job I am no better off than I was before I started work, although I am servicing my own debt and no longer relying on my Dad to top up our income on a fortnightly basis.

If I don't get this job then I will sweep the other place upside down and get things in some sort of order.

We'll see. If I get offered the new one I will take it even if I feel like a prize bitch for leaving after a week.

Word Verification

2005-09-08T13:43:00.000+12:00

I have not wanted to do this but have had to as those blasted "anonymous" tags are pissing me off. So, from now on buddies, you will have to spend 5 extra seconds entering the word code to comment. Worth it to get rid of these tedious advertisments.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

2005-09-08T12:50:00.000+12:00

I have decided that I give great advice, especially via comment boards, but I am shit at actually following any of that advice myself. I always go on about the no fail environment and weekly weigh ins. Lately I have constantly kept refilling the cupboards and fridge to be a HUGE failure of an environment. And I am jumping on my home scales every time I friggin well pass them. I am going to give them away to my mother. She may not want them but she is going to get them. Once again, I did not go to Weight Watchers last night. I was planning to but Blair rang me at 5pm (meeting is at 6pm) to say that he was still in Church Bay, about a 45min drive away and that they were still bucketing cement down a steep slope and that he would be home in about another 2 hours. When he got home he was starving so the planned salmon and salad just wasn't going to cut it. So, how did I counteract his hunger. I went and got us all fish and chips and I got coke and I got two giant Trumpets. Not just the normal size ones but the giant mother f-ker ones that would feed a small nation for a few months. As it turns out we didn't eat the Trumpets, they are still in the freezer tempting the hell out of me right now. But I did have a fish, a hot dog, chips and a piece of bread with butter on it. And two glasses of coke. That's right, washed down the gallons of fat with some fizzy, stomach lining dissolving, sugary poison. Why do I fall off the wagon with such a thud at the smallest window of opportunity?? I wank on about getting healthy and setting the house up full of veges and fruit and it is all just crap. When it comes to the actual shopping, I buy more and more shit. Yesterday I refilled the biccie tin with chocolate stripes. And I got a bag of Grainwaves Select just in case we had the nibble desires later on in the evening. I wish some personal trainer and nutritionist guy would come to my house and throw out all the shitty processed fatty sugary crap and replace it with healthy seeds and nuts and salmon and good stuff. And I wish I just had the gumption to stick to my plans that I seem to make on a weekly basis.

I weighed myself last night on my scales - my official weigh in for the week - and was 101kg. Who knows what that would be on the weight watchers ones!!

I should go and get myself a copy of that book that everyone seems to go on about: Confessions of a Reformed Dieter by AJ Rochester. Maybe that would kick start things again.

Work shoes: found!!

Went to Dowsons yesterday and found a pair that fit okay. They are wide and have only have a little bit at the front so there is plenty of room for the fluid to puff out. I ended up buying two pairs as they were only $29.95 each and full leather. I got one black pair and one red. That is one problem solved.

Knockin On Heaven's Door

2005-09-05T12:03:00.000+12:00

No, I am not knockin on heaven's door but I think Jordis's version sung on Friday night's INXS: Rockstar was just fan-fucken-tastic. That is one chic that should go far after this programme is all over. Am I sounding a little obsessed? Maybe so. Who cares?

Have been rather good. Walked kids home from school Friday afternoon and to school this morning. They are keeping it around the 29-30min mark and this morning there was not too much whining either. Ben has a new marine style haircut and I think that made him pick the pace up a bit. Funny how kids react to little things like haircuts. Then again, as an Adult, I react to things like haircuts. I feel more confident with a haircut. A good haircut that is. A bad haircut just makes me feel like commiting hair-rage. Similar to road rage but without the cars, road and - yeah, nothing like road rage really!!

Just when we thought the liver-slash-health-slash-paranoia thing was over the old medical centre gives me another call asking me to go for more blood tests. A letter was sent to a gastro specialist re the enlarged spleen and it's relationship with the chubby liver and, as it goes, the gastro specialist guy wants more blood tests. Probably just to cover his own arse should there be anything random floating around. Being the paranoid creature of habit that I am, I did an google search on: enlarged spleen, oedema, hypertension and lookey what I find:

All three are symptoms of a severe liver dysfunction (eg cirrhosis). And throw in excessive bruising, which I have also had lately. Now, I am fully aware that I don't have cirrhosis but, it may just be the warning signs that I shouldn't take this overweight liver thing too casually. I have been exercising - granted. I have been attending Weight Watchers - with the intention of losing weight - check!! But, I have not healthed the foods up too drastically and that is the key to conditioning this liver up. So, this morning, I have had brown bread with avocado and tomato. I have had raisins, I have had a banana, and I have had an apple. I have had juice. I am still not trying too much am I??

I think I am pretty much an all or nothing sort of a character. I can't eat half healthy. It's all or nothing baby. So, Blair has been warned. The shit will be leaving the cupboards. Some may say this is mean, not allowing the kids biscuits etc. Bullshit!! Is it mean to set your kids up to have a healthy lifestyle from the start? Is it mean to install good healthy attitudes into your children from the getgo?? Yes?? Well, then I am going to be mean. The days of craphola food in this little red brick house next to the graveyard are over!! Weekends will be the time for any such treats and, preferrably from the grandparents etc and not from our own house. I am not unrealistic. The odd goodie is going to have to be consumed. This is life afterall. But, if I don't do this for me and my family then they face the risk of not having me in their lives at all due to me being six feet under due to health. So, no more excuses. I need to be real with myself. Is a biscuit or a piece of chocolate worth having a shorter lifespan. Not really. Although some chocolate is "to die for".

Have a good day followers.

Thats What Friends Are For

2005-09-02T10:16:00.000+12:00

As the old song goes: "in good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more, That's What Friends Are For".

And you guys are my friends. Thanks for all the support about everything. It is also so great to know that half of us all suffer from the same sorts of things. It makes you feel not so alone.

I went in and signed my contract today. Clause 10.2 states:

"Because the company's business requires constant client contact, it is expected that you will maintain a professional standard of presentation in your dress and your manner in dealing with clients."

Uh oh!! My last job was pretty casual and I don't really have professional attire. So, I am going to have to do some money wrangling and get myself a few essential items. As it is coming into spring/summer, I will have to find a few snazzy shirts and a few nice pairs of dress trousers. Don't think I am ready to share the joy of my oedema laden cankles to the world of business just yet, so skirts are out. And there is my other problem - shoes. How the hell am I going to find a nice pair of shoes that fit wide blowfish feet?? I wish this health would all sort itself out. I think I am going to take a leaf out of Mary's book and start yoga and meditation. I used to meditate all the time and loved it. Really zoned out and it was just out of this world. And I have a Yoga video sitting here that I have not even opened. And, coffee may just have to piss off. I may just limit it to a treat scenario. I love real coffee and am not a great fan of the instant shit I drink at home anyway. Would be much better to get into my herbal teas.

Walked the midgets to school yesterday morning. They were a bit reluctant to get too enthusiastic about the idea, but I think they did quite well. We walked 2.1km in 29mins which is pretty legendary for those two dawdlers!! And then I walked back in 22mins. The shoes are really an issue for me. Currently I am wearing size 7 Mens Warehouse jobbies and they just give me such sore feet.

Enough with the whinging - I don't live in New Orleans so, really, I should shut the hell up.

Have a great night people and I will too. I am going to enjoy watching the performance show of INXS: Rockstar. I think I am addicted!!

Job Seeker Extraordinaire

2005-08-31T19:51:00.000+12:00

As the title may suggest, I landed the first job I applied for. I deserve to feel a bit cocky about this so give me my minute!! It is 30hrs a week as accounts administrator at DTZ, a property management/valuation company. Start in a couple of weeks. Nothing like getting a job to boost the self esteem. Speaking of self esteem:

I have been having a bit of a shit time of it lately. A week and a half ago I was supposed to be heading out for the evening to a BBQ to catch up with old high school buddies. That afternoon I had a panic attack. The first one I have had in over a year. My whole body went into stress mode and I flipped out. I knew the feeling as it started to sweep over me, it always starts in the upper back/neck area. It is terrible when you feel it start and I was pretty powerless to stop it. Poor kids, I sent them outside to play so that they weren't near me and Phoebe was put in her bassinet while I just tried to breathe through it. I have also been having those old "why don't I just drive into a lamp post" feelings. 2 years ago I was given the "clinical depression/social anxiety" diagnosis. I took medication until I found out that I was pregnant with Phoebe. It definitely helped. I don't know what really went wrong that sent me into this spin. Probably a bit of a combination of things. If you sit around the house long enough your life soon starts to lack meaning. Don't take this the wrong way. I love spending time with Phoebe but, I need more than the home thing. Especially with shit money situation and feeling like I am contributing nothing all the time. And then I had the neverending "final units" to finish for my Naturopathy. I find it impossible to study when my head is in this sort of space so, I finally made the decision to give it away for the time being. I spoke to my head tutor to formally withdraw and she said she would leave my file open so that I could still send my units in if things worked out better down the track. She is awesome. So, with that weight finally off of my shoulders, I have been able to concentrate on the future a bit more. Blair has the dream of becoming a fireman. He has had it since he was about 4. Most boys grow out of it but not my man. So, I have said for him to go for it, apply in the November intake and see how he goes. Both of us need to move out of this stagnation that we have got into.

When I went to my interview yesterday it was a lovely day in Christchurch. I felt really great and confident walking the inner city streets and feeling, for the first time in ages, like a person instead of just a milking cow. I really don't want to sound ungrateful, especially when others are trying so hard to get what I have baby wise, but depression picks its arrival time without consulting me. I now have the task of reducing down the breast feeding to 3 times a day. That means that I will have to cut my points down too. Damn it. Will be good though.

I have had so many compliments on how great I am looking in the past week. I still don't know what the scales are saying as I have not been back to Weight Watchers this week either. I just don't have the money at all. I will have to put it off until I start working and things are looking a bit better. I have hopped on my home scales and am just under 100kg on them. But, we all know they are about 3kg out. But that is still the lowest I have ever been on them!!

Have been on a couple of walks but have not been on the bike for a week and a half now. I will be walking the kids to school and home over the next couple of days though. Petrol has gone up again and I just can't afford to be driving around when I have a good pair of feet (stop chuckling those of you who have seen photos of my feet).

Anyway, I had to get a bit of this out and everyone else is in bed so I finally have my chance. Poor Blair is bearing the brunt of my mood swings. Half the time he could be about ten thousand times more supportive though. He knew I had the job interview yesterday, yet when he got home he never asked about it at all, just sat there going on about his own job. Later in the evening I said, yeah the job interview went well. Well he got home at 4.30pm today and knew that I was finding out about the job today yet didn't ask at all. I had just got a fucken job and he didn't even ask. So at 7.30pm I shouted at him "I got a job today, thanks for asking!!" and haven't spoken to him since. Sometimes men are just so self absorbed. I could go in and smack him with a pot right now.

I think it is time for a challenge. Everyone else has some sort of challenge going.

I have 7 weeks till my 30th birthday - I need to be at my 10% by then. So, as of two weeks ago I was 105.1kg. Not sure what I am today but I need to get to 98.8kg to reach my 10%. That is a loss of 6.3kg in 7 weeks. That is a required loss of 900g a week. Achievable?? Not likely!! But I always thrive on a good challenge. So, how am I going to achieve this?? Walking kids to school up until I start work. Biking at least 4 times a week for half an hour. Water intake - 2L a day. Appropriate adjustment of points dependent on reduction of breast feeds. Less carbs of the processed type. I will need to eat more fruit and veges and less bread. Go away horrible bread and horrible peanut butter. Keep up with No Biscuits.
And if all else fails?? In 7th week have an invasive colonic irrigation!! Just kidding. So cheer me on, either from a far or from near!! I need to do this. I will do this!!!!!!!!!

Hope everyone else is having a lovely day. I am going to go and ring my sister and confirm her participation with me in this duathlon next year. If she won't commit then I will do it myself. I can do it. Damn it - I can get a job in one easy week, what's stopping me running 5km and biking 10km in a morning??

Well, at the moment obesity and gammy knees - but we will change that.

NZ Idol - Schmidol

2005-08-28T20:27:00.000+12:00

What is it with the gits in this country?? I am not talking about the actual contestants but the idiots who voted them in. I mean, there are only about two that can actually sing in tune. There were plenty of decent singers in the line up but they were all voted out cos teeny boppers voted in all the little boys. Who suck!!

That's all about that. Here is another photo of my bubba that I thought I had posted with the others but I somehow omitted it.

Job hunting is going well. Have a number of recruitment agencies wanting me to come in even if I am not what they want for the actual job I applied for in the first place.

So I have to go through all the testing. What I hate about testing is that it is not really a true indication of what you can do once in a job and knowing your stuff.

I need space to right a good entry and at the moment no one is giving me that space so will go.

My Phoebe Weebee

2005-08-26T17:15:00.000+12:00

Thought I would post a few updated photos of my little Schnizel McSchniz. She is just over 4 months old in these great photos taken by my mate Kim. As you can see, the character of the cheeky wee thing is shining through.

Need to do a decent update soon. Have lots to say, lots of feelings and emotions to try and get out.

Hi Buddies

2005-08-24T18:47:00.000+12:00

I have been absent, I have been fine but have been a bit busy and also a bit under pressure with the old finances. Have made the horrible decision to have to go back to work. My mother is going to look after Phoebe initially until we get our feet on the ground. Have had a couple of interviews to attend and have been busy making plans etc. I am missing weight watchers for the first week since I started this week. I hate to have to do it but I have not a cent to pay for it. Am going to go next week. Haven't exercised other than Thursday when I went for a 2 hour walk. I think I am rebelling against the scales.

I did have a very big plus in the weight loss journey. Tried a couple of pairs of my old 6 years ago worn size 18 (aussie 16) trousers last night and they fitted. Did up fine. Were a bit tightish in the thighs but wearable. I lost it!!!

So, the scales are really your enemy aren't they??

Wednesday Weigh In - Week Eleven

2005-08-17T21:24:00.000+12:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 105.1kg
Loss/Gain: +600g
Kgs Lost: 4.7kg
Kgs to Goal: 40.1kg

Fucken scales!! I mean - I am totally okay with this!! Yeah right. As much as I knew I had the hell cankles retaining fluid it still slutted me immensely to see the scale go up. And, it just so happened, it was that same blasted woman on the left hand scale. She is a total jinx on me. Next time I am just going to say - NO!!

That's all.

.... and a little bit of that......

2005-08-17T11:28:00.000+12:00

I have been the exercise queen this week. I have gone on 3 walks, 2 10km exercycle bike rides and this morning, iced the cake with a little bit of TaeBo. Have really had a great week but, as it is Pre Menstrual week, am retaining plenty of fluid. I know I have been good so, if I put on tonight, I am not going to stress.

Had not had any take out foods for over a week but, last night, the man was starving and we had no groceries so I got KFC. I don't know why. I went to the supermarket, as I needed nappies, could have bought something healthier and less expensive for dinner. But no, went with greasy old KFC. I did earn around 8 bonus exercise points yesterday, so should have still been okay points wise. Not really the point though is it?? I mean, day before weigh in and KFC is entering my cake hole. Bad Jules. Bad bad bad.

I finally have received an email with dates on the Special K duathlon. March 12th, 2006 here in Christchurch. So, being August the 17th today, that gives me ummmm ummmm where the hell is my diary ....

29 weeks to go.

Let's see, 29 weeks to be able to run 5km. Ha, piece of piss!!!

I am thinking that I should not be a blouse about this and actually do the whole duathlon myself and encourage my sister to do the same. If she won't then I will aim to do something similar by myself and stick with the original plan for the duathlon. I am quite pumped at the thought of completing something like this.

Realistically, I should lose another 15kg (????) by then and be around 90kg. If I am hard out training I may lose at a faster pace but, being realistic is probably better than trying to pretend I will be at goal by then.

Will update tonight with weigh in results.

A Little Bit of This .....

2005-08-15T14:12:00.000+12:00

Firstly:

"List ten songs that you are currently digging ... it doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're no good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the ten songs in your blog."

1. "Welcome Home" - Dave Dobbyn
2. "Love Your Way" - Salmonella Dub
3. "Epiphany" - Stained
4. "The Reason" - Huberstank
5. "Don't ya wish your girlfriend was Hot like Me" - Pussycat Dolls
6. "Stand Up" - The Feelers
7. "Hope" - Fat Freddy's Drop
8. "Girl" - Destiny's Child
9. "Paranoid" - Black Sabbath
10. "Giddyup" - Katchafire

Now that I have done that (inspired by a blog hopping visitor)I feel i have shared a bit of me for the day.

Have had a nothing day. You know the sort, where you just don't tend to achieve anything much, just sort of amble through the day and then, at the end of it, think "where the hell did that day go??"

Went for a great walk yesterday afternoon through the Groynes park area. They have a 55 min walk which we plan to do another day, but we just walked the loop around the whole park. The kids had a blast with Ben deciding that he was the tramper extraordinaire!! His suggestion that we deviate off the beaten track and offroad it through the blackberry bushes was taken on board, but discarded pretty quickly.

Strange thing: having only had one stray biscuit in 12 days, I am becoming a bit nauseous when I eat sugar. Bloody wierd, I know. Last night I had a Pinky bar after dinner(at 2.5pts it is a steal)and within minutes I literally vomitted from the sweetness. Strange aye??

Liver function tests have come back in normal range. Thank Kermit!! So, that old medication was the culprit and now, I just need to work out this liver.

Think I have bored you enough today.

ciao xx

The Chic in the Photo is......

2005-08-14T21:06:00.000+12:00

The chic in last entry's photo is Jordis Unga, contestant in INXS: Rockstar. Her voice rocks as much as her look.

Here are some more pics. I think she just rocks!!!

The Style Guru

2005-08-13T16:56:00.000+12:00

Everyone in the house is out bar me, the littlest sproglet and the manky cat. I say manky cat, as she is looking manky. She is lovely but she currently has an arse-licking fetish and looks manky. (Sorry Jazz).

I have actually had a chance to catch up on all the journals I read and that has taken nearly two hours. I had planned to have a shower and ready myself for an evening with the lovely man. Oh well, will do that later.

Have been assessing my medical conditions. If I was seeing a client in my naturopathic clinic, I would jot down all the symptoms and facts, come up with a couple of differential diagnoses and then come to a working diagnosis from that. So, I have:

Edema
Hot flushes in face
Hypertension
Enlarged Spleen
Fatty liver
Tinnitus (ear ringing)

So what could I have Dr House???

What can be ruled out???

What do I need to do to remedy??

I really shouldn't have too many moments to myself or I tend to overthink.

Tangent::

When I was a teenager I always had a dream image that I one day imagined myself to have. I wanted a certain style that shouted cool to the world. I love tattoos (you and me both Mary) and I love dreads and braids. A few of you old time readers of the Jules meister may recall I nearly did the dread thing back in December but found my old good hairdresser so resisted the urge. Anyway, this chic is the epitomy of all that I find cool in style (for me personally).
I told Blair that I loved her style and had always imagined myself like that. He informed me that he didn't like tattoos on arms for chics. I informed him that I would get a Moku (Maori facial tattoo for those not from the Land of the Long White Cloud) if I damn well wanted and he better just like it or lump it. He has a bit tattoo on his upper arm so what is the issue??

Fat on the Inside

2005-08-12T12:01:00.000+12:00

Yes, I am fat inside and out people. Not a self-loathing judgement, just a fair comment.

I had a terrible day yesterday. Started great with a complete buzz happening with the whole reaching my first goal etc etc. Then I received a phone call that sent me into a spin. It was the practise nurse ringing on behalf of my doctor.

Hi Julie, R.. here from Ilam Medical, Dr C.... would like you to come in
today please to discuss the findings of your liver scan.

Ummm,
it must be bad if he wants me to come in??

He just asked that you
please come in, would 2.10pm be okay?

Yeah, sure

Then the crying started. Did I say crying? I meant hideous garbled heaving bawling!! I rang my sister and I rang my Dad and I just cried and they tried to say "it won't be anything bad, you're just over reacting". But I couldn't think positive.

Let's have a wee perspective put on this situation:

I have an extremely good Doctor-Patient relationship. My Dr is aware of my naturopathic tendancies and he always backs me up on decisions I make with regard to natural therapies. He is very constructive and always takes my concerns as real and I never feel dismissed, nor talked down to. Over the past couple of years he has helped me with a lot of ongoing medical issues and we have ALWAYS discussed things over the phone. Not once has he asked me to come in. Hence the reason I am in a spin, fearing the "sorry, you have 10mins to live" speech.

Anyho, I get to the Dr after a couple of hours of walking and talking therapy with my best bud, Kim. I sit in his exam room waiting. Heart thumping! And I mean THUMPING!! I could literally see my left side of my chest beating. I took my pulse (and this is resting people) and got 130. Holy fuck, I am going to faint. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Finally, after 20mins of whole body beating, Dr C.... walks in.

A casual Hi. He was limping, a bit of small talk followed with reference to the new buttock exercises his PT has been putting him through. I start to relax a bit. Surely, a man who is about to give you a life ending terminal illness is not going to use "buttock exercises" as a warmup conversation??

You have a fatty liver. And an enlarged spleen. We need more Liver Function Tests and if they are still up we will send you to a liver specialist. No gallstones, kidneys fine, a bit of fluid around the gallbladder wall, no real issues.* Smile *. Now let's take your blood pressure while you are here.

Are you trying to kill me? I query. No, why?

I explain the high level of stress I have been under due to his decision to have this little chat in person rather than over the phone. He apologizes profusely.

And blood pressure: 180/80. Now that bottom number is looking extremely good for me but the top one is through the roof, which gives him a good laugh as that is the number more commonly associated with anxiety and stress levels. You think?? He recommends I up my meds to twice daily instead of once to counteract the consistently high BP.

And I had brown rice, chicken breasts and veges for dinner.

I didn't react to the crisis by eating badly or with abandon. Good on me.

So: I have a fat liver. Not only can I claim to have an overweight arse, I can add that claim to one of the most vital internal organs as well. Great.

Whole foods here we come. I ain't gonna make any statements about what I am gonna do as, inevitably, I won't follow through and then will have just another GUNNA statement to add to the list.

I have a wee plan of attack but, this time, I will just do it and write about it after it is done.

Wednesday Weigh In - Week Ten

2005-08-10T22:25:00.000+12:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 104.5kg
Loss/Gain: -1.9kg
Kgs Lost: 5.3kg
Kgs to Goal: 39.5kg

Yep, that's right folks. This weightloss pro has just hit the big 5kg mark. 4th official attempt at this Weight Watchers lark and I have finally achieved the previously impossible. Thus proving that exercise does work.

So, my reward: A back, neck and shoulder massage! I have had this voucher since I had Phoebe. My mate Mish gave it to me as a pamper after having bubs. But I decided to save it for my first reward. I am a bit nervous about getting it though. I mean, I may have lost 5kg but I still have a lot to go and it is a bit daunting taking your clothes off in front of a stranger. And I have a terrible scar on my right shoulder blade where I hit the windscreen wiper on the car as I went through the windscreen the night I was run over. And on the other half of my back is my big pegasus tattoo. Then again, I have lost 5kg - I bloody well deserve this massage!!

The No Biscuit Challenge is going to extend through to this week and I am also going to aim for 5 lots of exercise instead of three. Aim high!

Quote of the Day:

I ROCK!!!

Thanks Bob Greene

2005-08-10T14:46:00.000+12:00

Who is Bob Greene?? Well, lovely friends, Bob is Oprah's personal trainer and Bob has just answered my question re: dilemma of not losing weight while exercising 3 times a week.

He thinks you should not weigh yourself for 2 MONTHS after starting to exercise. Now, I am not going to do this but the explanation that goes with it has explained to me why I am staying around the same at the moment.

When you first start exercising after a long time inactive, your body is usually severly dehydrated from lack of fluid intake. So much so, that it is used to retaining fluid to keep your body hydrated. When you start to exercise, you need water. You start to drink more water than normal (especially if you are making a concientious effort to make the whole 8 glasses a day thing). As your body is still in the mode of retaining, it does so with the new water intake until it regulates itself which takes about 2 months to level out. So there you go people!!! Works for me! Thanks Bob.

Will come back later for the Wednesday Weigh In (and we all know: if I put on or stay the same - it's due to the exercise and water thing baby!!).

The Great Biccie Episode

2005-08-09T09:44:00.000+12:00

I bet you are all wondering how I have been going on my "No Biscuits" Challenge? Well, even if you aren't, you are about to find out.

I, Jules of the natural kind, have had 1 biscuit in 6 days.

I was doing so well, hadn't had even a sniff of a little round delight. On Sunday I was making the kids lunch and put two little mini hundreds and thousands biccies on each of their plates. I started to give myself a little "you are doing so well for not eating a single biscuit" congratulatory speech and then I remembered. One slippery little hokey pokey squiggle pop had snuck it's way into my mouth the night before. I hadn't even acknowledged it. We were at a friends place for dinner and we had a lovely roast beef with kumara, yams, parsnips, potatoes and peas. Then we had a wee slice of cheesecake each (and when I say "wee", I mean WEENY! We shared one cheesecake between 5 adults and three children). I had two small glasses of Villa Maria Cellar Selection 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon Merlot, which was yummo!! Then I had a lovely plunger coffee. And with that plunger coffee my friend had offered me a Squiggle Pop and I had said Yes without even thinking, yet alone blinking an eyelid.

So, I have failed the No Biscuit Challenge due to a subconcious mind that just let me unwittingly devour this delicious little chocolate biscuit. Upside: I didn't let this realisation tempt me to abandon the challenge and I have not wittingly eaten a biscuit. This has been extremely hard for me considering biccies are my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**********************************

Was about to do my measurements and then realised how hard this will be without the gorgeous man to help me. Will rope him in this evening for a "measuring session".

Speaking of the gorgeous man, was not appearing oh so gorgeous last night when he informed me that he is really into me losing weight for myself but, could I, just for him cos I love him so much, go that little bit further and get my body looking like one of the lingerie models out of the Joanna G catalogue?? Eg:

Why sure darling? That won't be hard at all. While I am at it why don't I save mankind from poverty and war? Another equally simple task.

I then had to inform him that after three children and a good 10 years of being overweight, 5 of those over 100kg, that getting my stretchmarked, pasty body to look like one of those plastic surgery enhanced woman was near impossible. His stupid man like reply?? All you need is a bit of commitment. I'm sorry, did you actually want dinner cooked for you ever again?

Other News:

Had my liver scan this morning. Not too exciting but, when sonographer questioned by myself as to the results of said scan she replied "I'm sorry, it's not for me to say. Your doctor will contact you."

Excuse me, is this a good answer to be giving people who have just had scans on vital organs of their body and are paranoid about it being life threatening?? No, I think not. According to my mother this is the standard answer. I think they better rethink their standard answer manual!!

Food of the Week:

Ricotta Cheese: Only 7.5pts for a whole 250g container. Great for adding to spinach in such things as Filo pastry and fresh pasta.

Quote of the Day:

There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends

(That one is for Emily and her Samoan friend)

Great Website

2005-08-08T12:42:00.000+12:00

Having my browse through my favourite blogs today has proven to be a valuable exercise. I have been reading two journals for over two years now and they were the two people that inspired me to have a journal of my own and, in turn, find all the support I could ever need to support me in this journey. The first was Lyn, who I won't link to as she has a private journal now - for sanity's sake!! She inspired me with her down to earth approach to the whole weightloss journey. With four kids, a busy lifestyle and a love of a good drink, she was real to me and helped me make that vital connection. And the second was Dietgirl, whose savvy writing style had me hooked from day one. It was while browsing DG's journal that gave me the link to the "great website". It is called World's Healthiest Foods and is all about getting nutritionally aware. It is awesome!! I just did the Food Advisors quiz to see how well I am eating nutritionally. Yup - not that healthy. Especially considering I tag myself Natural Jules. Just too much processed food in my diet. It advised me that I am eating approx. only 31% from the list of the world's healthiest foods, leaving 69% of my diet highly processed crap. And it doesn't stop there, it goes on to advise you on different foods that can help you, where you are more than likely falling short nutritionally and even has recipe links with the foods you need. If you have 5 minutes take the test. You will be glad you did.

.................................

As for the lovely reunion with my other half, let's just say that in 36 hours I have earnt plenty of bonus points!!!! Our whole relationship has been strengthened tenfold by a 5 day abscence from each other. The look on his face when he walked in the door just screamed to me "I love you". And that is all I need. The love of a good man can do wonders for your self esteem.

.................................

Food hasn't been fantastic but hasn't been bad. I was the unlucky recipient of a hideous head cold that arrived Saturday arvo and have felt like a bag of poo holes since. I did take Amelia's advice though. I got on the bike this morning, against every cell in my body screaming at me, and did 5km. I only biked slow and only got my heart rate up to around 134 bpm. I did it anyway though!!

................................

I am going to have spinach and ricotta canneloni for dinner tonight. I taped an episode of Oprah last week that had a cardiologist on it showing aortas, kidneys, livers, bowels etc of healthy people compared to the ones of people with constipation, high blood pressure, cancer etc. Not pretty. I showed it to Blair and we both agreed that we need to incorporate more of the preventative foods that were advocated by this doctor into our daily diets. Therefore we are having tomato based pasta sauce and spinach with tonight's meal. There were many great things taken from this programme and I will post, sometime this week, a few of his great tips. You will be pleased to know Red Wine is all good!!

Off to blow my snotty nose.

It's Alright, Baby's Coming Back .....

2005-08-04T11:10:00.000+12:00

My sweetheart is home today and, in all honesty, I think it has done me the world of good to do without him for these last five days. It has given me a new spark and I am determined to have the warmest, cosiest, yummiest smelling, tidiest house ever!! I want him to walk in the door and be so glad that he has come back HOME! And I am going to go over to Keri's (sister) this afternoon and get her to straighten my hair with the ceramic tong thingys. I am busting my gut to please him. And, my friends, that is why it is good he went away. Before he did I was getting a tad tired of him and his winter blues and I wasn't putting much effort in to our relationship.

I am trying to think of something yummy to make for tea. But, completely within points. It is nearly lunch time and I have only had 5 points. 25 to go! Maybe I do need to follow Angel's lead and allocate a certain majority of my points to each meal so that I am balancing things out throughout the day. I mean, surely it is not good to eat 60% of your points in the last hours of the day.

May have to have a look at the Weekly recipes that you get dished out at WW. Speaking of that, did anyone get their "basics cookbook" in the last couple of weeks. It was a promotional thing to get you to come 5 weeks out of 6. I was excited about it, thinking it would be great to have a good cookbook. It is shit!! It is 62 pages long and has all of 18 recipes!! The majority of the book is Nestle diet product advertisements and tips on what utensils to use and how to store asparagus!! Then again, as Dad would say: There ain't no free lunches in this world.

I have just finished another 10km bike on the exercycle. Took me 27mins and 08secs. I know, slower time. But, we upped the tension to level 2 instead of the easiest level 1. And it definitely made a difference. So that is one out of the five planned exercise sessions this week.

Keri asked me this morning if I was gutted at putting on 400g. The thing is, I really am not that worried. Reason: I can weigh myself at 7am in the morning and be nearly 3kg lighter than at 7pm that night. Reason: I retain fluid terribly (No kidding laughs anyone who has seen my hideous feet photos!!). I hopped on the home scales this morning and was 101.5kg which means nothing in the weightloss journey as they are different to the official WW's ones. I was 108.5kg on these home scales 10 weeks ago so something is definitely changing. I use a bit of a control here in that Blair hasn't changed weight at all on them in the same time period.

Positives of the Day:

I am way fitter than I was 4 weeks ago.
I am a lot more motivated than I was 10 weeks ago.
I am on my way to being the renovated me.
I have 3 gorgeous, generally well behaved, children (Anyone seen Supernanny, cringe!!!)

So, I am going to stop sitting on my bumhole writing about life and have some lunch and then get into the housework, load up the wood basket and then head out and do some little jobs that I have put off for a while. I am going to have a lovely evening with my darling (and probably very hungover) man.

I just heard on the radio that Liam Gallagher (Oasis) has just pronounced that he can't decide who is better, him or Elvis. Now I ain't no Elvis fan but, what the f*#k is that man thinking. He and his brother are such tossers. When they first came out they compared themselves to the Beatles. WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday Weigh In - Week Nine

2005-08-03T22:47:00.000+12:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 106.4kg
Loss/Gain: +0.4kg
Kgs Lost: 3.4kg
Kgs to Goal: 41.4kg

Okay, gain of 400g and this is getting ridiculous. I have been hovering around this mark for a month nearly. Need to up the antics a bit. I am a great one for spouting forth with great plans and ideas, a bit of a GUNNA. But, this week coming (Thursday - Wednesday) I am determined to have a completely on track week. I mean, in all honesty, there have been plenty of days when I just eat enough biscuits for a small African nation to survive on for a year. As hard as this is going to be, I have to do it:

NO BISCUITS ALL WEEK. NONE, NADA, ZILCHIMUNDO.

That way I can't point half my allowed 30pts on bloody sugary processed crappy biscuits. And:

GET THE FOOD DIARY TRACKER THINGY GOING AGAIN. KEEP MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE.

I need to kick start this thing into action again. The exercise is giving me the excuse that I can go over my points a little here and a little there until it ends up that I have had a whole week of going over points.

So, back to basics.

Hi to all who have pleased me and my little tanty with some comments. I do understand about all the blogs we read now people. If anyone could see my favourites list they would cringe. What I might do is allocate a certain section of the list to certain nights of the week. Eg A-D Mondays and Saturdays. Something like that as I am finding that I am skim reading a few blogs especially if they are longer entries. And I don't like to do that as I miss important things.

And Kate, I haven't read 14pk's blog but will search it out now and see what is happening with her journey. I got the idea off of my dad, as he imagines he is walking somewhere with his accumulated walks and suggested I do it with the biking as a way of seeing where I am getting too. And as for the supportive sister, she is great. She has two littlies and we often swap care so that we can get out and do things with a tad more ease. I didn't stay for the meeting this time though.

And I got the "bad luck" scales. There are two sets of scales at my meeting and everytime I get on the left ones with the certain Weigher, I put on. Without fail. I told her tonight that she is bad luck for me. She didn't seem to find that amusing.

Where am I biking to??

2005-08-03T12:55:00.000+12:00

I was going to map my journey in exercycle biking distance to Arthurs Pass as an ongoing journey. But, I just did a quick add up of my biking distance so far and I am already at Springfield(58km) at the base of the Southern Alps as you head towards the coast. And I have achieved it in a combined total of 2 hours and 40mins. Not too shabby for someone who has a BMI that makes her clinically obese.

So really, that is just silly, as I will be at Arthurs Pass before you know it. So, have decided to bike/walk/run around New Zealand. I will start in Bluff and go up as far as Dunedin and then head inland to Central Otago via Middlemarch and then up to Hokitika on the West Coast and then up the middle of the country to Nelson then across to Picton and then across on the ferry to Wellington and then up the west coast and head on up till I hit the far north. I mean, it will be interesting to see won't it?? I will post photos along the way of interesting points. Something to take up all those spare hours in my day!!

I will have to see how I am going to put this idea into imagery but I will have a play around and see what I can concoct. I'll need a map and will have to see how I am going to post ongoing images. It's all coming to me in rushes so I will write it down and plan it out (and probably do a list as I am a LIST person).

Was going to bike today but have decided, as it is a pearler of a day, that I will walk to school and pick up the two oldest sprogs and give them a bit of fresh air as they walk home with me. And my tailbone is still aching from the Monday's ride.

Blair is back tomorrow. Having a "big night" out in Queenstown tonight with all his buddies. Last night they were getting beers in and having a house pool competition. There are 8 of them down there staying in the boss's beautiful home at Lake Hayes in between Arrowtown and Queenstown. He said the scenery is just beautiful and I am sure he means the mountains etc and not the chics!! LOL LOL LOL>

My sister is coming over this evening to look after the kids while I go to the later meeting at 7.30pm. I won't, for the first time, stay for the meeting. I will come home and have a wine with my sis instead.

Will update with weighin results later.

I Miss You

2005-08-02T20:59:00.000+12:00

I miss all you buggers and your comments. Where are you all?? Have I done something to offend or are you all just as busy as I am?? Please let me know you are out there. As for Sarah - hello. Nice to meet you. Tried to go to your blog but couldn't get there via your comment so if you have one and want to share it then let me know where you are!!

As for missing people, my darling Blair is still in Queenstown and I stupidly feel rather lost without him. I definitely wouldn't want to be single with three kids!! I know plenty of woman do it but, I am a woos!! I am scared of every little noise and I just miss the adult company. And I miss the warmth in the bed. And I miss the cuddles. And I am paranoid. Yes, severely paranoid. About everything including that Blair will meet some gorgeous tourist in Queenstown and fall in love with her and leave me. I never used to have this sort of issue when I was slim. This lard has a hell of a lot to answer for!! It is really sad, as I know he loves me to bits, but I still have this irational fear that he will take "the grass is greener on the other side" option. Then, I hate to be the paranoid chic as there is nothing less attractive than insecurity. We have been together 6 and a half years and been good friends for 11 but you just never know. I have had a friend lose her husband to the secretary (cliche I know!) recently and the devastation in her life is just too hard to imagine in my own. She has been left with 3 kids and has had to leave the house they owned to go to a smaller one on a main road and she is just struggling with the enormity of it all. And she has to deal with the poor kids who, at 6, 3 and 1, have no idea why Daddy has left.

Anyway, didn't bike today, had to give my arse a rest!! But, I did do copious amounts of housework at a feverish rate and also, wait for it ...... did some of my Naturopathy work. Yes, you heard it. I got off of my arse and did some of the few units I have left to do. And I enjoyed it. Why am I such a procrastinator?

Kids are well and so is the cat

Who incidentally, is not that fat anymore. Since we moved to the cemetery region she has become a very scared cat who stays inside all the time other than to dash outside for a quick excretion or urination. There is a big Tom cat we have nicknamed "Ghost Cat" who has beaten the shit out of her and she is scared to venture out there. Bloody Ghost Cat. By the way, who loves Rockstar INXS?? I do. I love good rock music and some of those dudes can sing. Especially the chic with the dreads. And if you live somewhere other than NZ and know who wins or who is eliminated please don't tell me.

Biking in the morning and then hoping to get one of the extended whanau (family) members to look after the sprogs while I go to weight watchers meeting. I haven't missed a meeting yet and I don't want to. Have to get skinny, need more confidence, need to be hot and sexy so other half doesn't leave for skinny nymphomaniac tourist!!

Watch Out Sarah Ulmer

2005-08-01T20:22:00.000+12:00

I am kicking arse with the biking. Last Thursday did 10km in 26mins08secs and today pumped it up another level and did 10km in 24mins and 44secs. Still have to develop my scenic route page thingy but will get on to it.

Blair is away working in Queenstown at the moment and I am missing him terribly.

Have been eating within points and getting plenty of protein, fruit and veges. As for the little picture that was the last entry, I needed to post it to get it as my profile photo. I love the gown. And sort of imagine myself slim and prancing around the fields with nature looking awesome.

Am going to take the lead of a few others and attempt the C25K running programme. Will start on the 1st of September as that is technically the start of Spring here. Apparently you go from no running to running 5K in 9 weeks. I used to be a good cross country and 800m runner and short sprinter when I was younger. But I haven't run in a very long time. We are talking about 10 years people. So am looking forward to pounding the pavement again soon.

Short post, back tomorrow.

2005-07-31T22:13:00.000+12:00

Fairy Gown that I love

Wednesday Weigh In - Week 8

2005-07-28T10:45:00.000+12:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 106kg
Loss/Gain: -0.7kg
Kgs Lost: 3.8kg
Kgs to Goal: 41kg

8 weeks down and nearly 4kg lost. An average of 475g a week. Not too bad really. I mean, if I keep it up like this I will end up losing the 45kg in 95 weeks, which is less than two years. I do want to amp it up a bit though.

Sandra commented on my tagboard yesterday that you can still get to goal taking the "scenic route". I really liked that description. I love scenic drives. I love the mountains. And it all clicked together for me and I decided to map my biking kms in a scenic bike to the Southern Alps. When I reach certain distance goals I will post a photo of where I am. Are you with me?? So, I have started at my house and will bike out towards the Alps. Looking forward to the journey and a good way to map my exercise achievements.

It's a crappy old day here in Christchurch. A typical winter's day with drizzle, a blanket of grey cloud and a temperature that leaves plenty to be desired. Why do we choose to congregate and form cities in such shitholes of locations?? A hint to any budding early settlers of new countries: camp in an area for a year so that you have a full view of what the climate is before you set up a city!!

Then again, no one is forcing me to live here are they. I do love the Alps though. And the majority of my family live here. I could move out of the city but Blair doesn't want to.

Am on the bike again this afternoon for another 10km. The only thing I don't like about the exercycle is how bloody sore my tailbone gets after biking. I have been told that it is much easier biking on a real bike and I would have to agree. I remember when I used to bike to work etc (pre children and hideous obesity).

I am really into this Special K duathlon challenge but would really love it if they updated the website and actually dished out some info on when and where it is happening. I registered my interest ages okay but have not received any info at all. If anyone knows anything about it drop me a line.

Interesting fact: tried on a few pairs of pants at the weekend in Farmers and appear to have dropped a size to at least a 20. Especially in my waist. (Still have a hideous jellybelly from the 3 pregnancies. Any tips on lower abdomen tightening exercises.) And who just loves trying on clothes under the neon lights?? How great for the self esteem seeing your mottled pasty white flesh in all it's glory in a changing room. And hands up who has hideous little veiny things all over their thighs. I should do my measurements again. I took them a year ago when I kick started into this online weightloss journalling idea. Will take them again and see what difference if any there is.

Off to tend to Sproglet #3. Have a wonderful day friends.

Feeling Pumped

2005-07-25T11:56:00.000+12:00

Yep, you heard, or rather read, it right. After pronouncing all great intentions last Thursday I didn't really follow any of that for the four days prior to today. But, being a Monday person, I got up and got into it. I did bike on Saturday for 5.5kms but I had to stop at that as I really felt like I was going to fall off the bike with exhaustion. May have been due to me not having eaten anything. Being a breastfeeding mother I think my energy reserves need constant replenishing and trying to do a bike ride with no calorie intake was a bit silly. So this morning I jumped on and did 10km in 27mins and 50secs. Once again sister was gutted as she biked on Friday 10km, Saturday 10.3km and then this morning 10km. And the fastest she did it in was 31mins. But she can be proud of the fact that she has biked 30.3km to my 15.5km!!

I feel great though and have plenty of points left for the day with a healthy lunch of salmon, baked potato and salad just ahead of me. And I have already achieved half my water intake. I am rocking today people. I was thinking last week about how sometimes you do really well and others you have a shit time of it. This is just life really. I mean, if it was rosy and peachy all the time then we would all be so bored shitless that we would go insane.

The 30th was great. Went to Indochine for pre dinner cocktails and finger food. Absolutely divine. I had two Watermelon Mules, which was Smirnoff Vodka, Watermelon (real), Lemon Wedges, Mint, and Ginger Beer over crushed ice. Yummy!! And they had these fabulous Sticky Beef Wontons, which were a wonton casing filled with a marinted shredded beef and then you dipped it in a french mayo. Then we went on to Dorothy's for dinner. It was really cool. I had Sesame Seeded Grilled Akaroa Salmon surrounded by a Seared Scallop and Coconut Saffron Broth Served with Tempura Spring Onion and Fetta Tortellini. I never get food like that when I am out. Usually stick to the old steak or chicken dish. It was so nice. Blair had Roasted Rack of Canterbury Lamb Served with Sundried Tomato Gruyere Rissotto, Minted Fava Beans and finished with Peppered Shallots and a Seed Mustard Jus. It was scrummy as well. But, Blair being the redblooded kiwi male, he was a bit disappointed when the fine dining style of meal arrived. Loved the food but reckons he could eat 5 times the amount on the plate. That's my man!! I had a good amount of a lovely Chardonnay with it and had a really enjoyable night. We came home after dinner as the Cabbage Patch Feet had made a reappearance for some unknown reason. Could have been the fact that I was premenstrual and it was really warm in the restaurant. We actually went to look for some shoes for me earlier that day but I couldn't fit any on. And then I tried to put my old faithful boots on but even they wouldn't fit the trotters. So, the Warehouse $9.95 black slip on sandals that I have worn every day for the last five months was it!! I had had my hair cut in the afternoon and got my hairdresser to straighten it. I wore this powder blue poncho thing that I got for the wedding in Takaka last December and some black pants and when I came out from doing my makeup Blair told me I looked stunning and he would like to "take me" right there and then. So that was a good confidence booster for me.

Anyway, off to eat my healthy lunch and will update my food tracker this evening.

Wednesday Weigh In - Week Seven

2005-07-21T12:30:00.000+12:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 106.7kg
Loss/Gain: +1.2kg
Kgs Lost: 3.1kg
Kgs to Goal: 41.7kg

Well it was expected so I take it on the chin and plod on. So much for losing 7kg by the mates 30th. I have 2 days, maybe I'll drop 3.9kg in 2 days. Not without a breast reduction!!

There has to be a plan in place so here goes:

Track, track, track: Track and post everything that enters my piehole in the next week.
Exercise: 5 times this next week for at least half an hour.
Make wise choices: There is no need to fill the points budget up on nil-nutrition biscuits.
No fail environment: Buy a lock box for the goodies and pass the keys to Blair.

Motivation is a key factor at the moment for me. I have so many other stresses on my mind, plus it is coming up TTOM again. All have combined to add to my weight gain. But, my training buddy (sister) is back this afternoon so will get her to kick my butt into action.

I don't really understand the way I function. Last week I went to the most motivational Chub Club meeting ever. The woman who had lost 35kg really inspired me. Then I totally had a week of non tracking. I do acknowledge the emotional side of it and things are consuming me a little bit. I am not going to beat myself up about it though.

An Ode to Snot

2005-07-19T12:27:00.000+12:00

My darling little Phoebe is full of snot. She is so blocked up that it sometimes sounds like she has stopped breathing. The sounds like a hedgehog. I am so sad for her. I have given her plenty of fluid and saline drops in the nose but she is just miserable. And these are the moments that make the thought of work just not very nice.

I am feeling like a bag of arseholes today. Skin feels cruddy, hair looks cruddy and I am just in a sloth of a mood. IRD decided to stuff up our Family Assistance payments and we won't get any for Phoebe for the next 2 weeks. But, it will be reimbursed at the end of the financial year which is March 2006. That is excellent, thanks. I mean, I didn't need that extra $120. You just keep it until March next year when I am bound to be really grateful for it. I'll just eat potatoes for a fortnight, no really, no trouble at all.

As far as being a loser of fat goes, not working. Instead of having a free day on Saturday I have extended that to having a free week. I mean, why the hell not be generous with myself.

Exercise, nup!!

Water, nup!!

Therefore, weight loss, ummmmmmmmmmmmm nup!!

We will see tomorrow but we are pretty sure that our fat cells have expanded in the last 5 days.

Saba Saba Teur

2005-07-15T08:47:00.000+12:00

I am so sick of sabotaging my own efforts to lose weight and become healthy. It's like I am two people fighting this battle. I am the one who has the whole day planned out foodwise and has allowed myself 5 spare points for the inevitable snack that will be presented when visiting Blair's brother. Then I go and be the bad person and add 15 points to the days total at the very end of the day. There was absolutely no need for it. Not hungry just a retard when it comes to saying no.

On the other side, the good person biked 7.5km in 21mins 45 secs. Which was great because my sister (all 59kg of her) took 23mins and 45secs. So, I beat her ass by 2 mins. I am just about 50kg heavier than her but I can still whip her ass!! Yay me.

Quick post as I have to go to the second Neurolink session. And it is in 1hour and all three kids are still lying in bed watching TV and I need a shower and need to get them breakfasted and dressed and around to my sister's and then get myself off to the suburb of Hei Hei (strange name) and that is going to be stressful. I seem to set myself up for these sorts of stressful situations. Bugger it all. And here I am still typing, I mean, For F Sake, GET OFF THE COMPUTER!!!

Wednesday Weigh In - Week Six

2005-07-13T21:31:00.000+12:00

Start Weight: 109.8kg
Current Weight: 105.5kg
Loss/Gain: -0.5kg
Kgs Lost: 4.3kg
Kgs to Goal: 40.5kg

It's official, I am a weight loss legend!! Hold your applause, I don't need it! I went to the most motivating meeting ever tonight. My leader is just excellent and I find this the difference this time around. Yes, please remember that this is about my 4th attempt at losing the lard! I seem to have an obsession with exclamation marks tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back to the meeting. There were a couple of people who reached their 10kg marks tonight, one who met her 35kg mark and one who reached goal. Talk about inspiration. Actually, talking about inspiration, a big hello to Givona who commented for the first time today after lurking for quite a while. She has lost a staggering amount of weight and is still plodding along towards her goal which is around 11kg away. I really love to hear these sort of stories because they remind me that I TOO CAN DO THIS. I really can. I think I can...... the little blue engine said.

I have a data entry job to apply for tomorrow at 10am. Well, I have to go in and do the alphanumeric and numeric data entry tests to see how fast I am. I downloaded a 30 day free trial data entry test off the internet this morning and tested myself this evening and am averaging around 9500kph for both. Problem is that once I get into "test" situations I always stuff up. My dilemma is (and we all know with me there just has to be one) that if I get the job I will be unable to attend this CC's (Chub Club (Weight Watchers)) meeting. I love the meeting. Everyone is so supportive and this is the first time that this bloody thing has worked for me. The leader and the meeting is what is making the difference. I know, I know, there are other good meetings out there but this one is working for me people. Is my weight worth a crappy data entry job 3 hours a night?? Dr Phil, bless the balding old bugger, always says to have a no fail environment. My no fail environment needs this meeting. Bugger shit bum!! Maybe I should just sell my Dr Phil book on Trade Me and that would make up for one shift's worth of data entry. LOL LOL LOL. Actually, that is not a stupid idea. I went through a phase of buying all these diet books. I could make a couple of bucks by selling them all as I don't need them anymore as they are all poos and CC's is working. I have the South Beach, Dr Phil, Diary of a Fat Man, Liver Cleansing .... the list goes on. What a loser I am! I even had that stupid bloody Atkin's diet which I did promptly sell after reading it. I'm sorry if I am going to get heaps of comments about how good it is but, I am nutritionally aware ( swanky!!) and know that not eating veges and fruit is bad. I agree that increased protein and reduced carbs aid weightloss but if we are doing this stint for life then it has to be realistic doesn't it. This morning I got so caught up reading my old diary-x entries that I passed away 2 hours of the day. I noticed a recurring theme. Every couple of days I seem to have a new PLAN. A new idea, a new statement on what I was going to do dramatically different to kick start the weight loss. Of course, it didn't work because I never stuck to any of it.

This is working!!
I am sticking!!
I am losing!!

and, you all know it, need I say it, okay then ...

I AM COOL!!

Link Mad

2005-07-13T09:21:00.000+12:00

Well, I stopped at 5km again. I could have gone on but I was biking against the clock. My sister did 5.1km in 14mins 14secs so I was trying hard to beat her. We had brought the bike inside as Blair was out at Pool and I couldn't really go out the back for half an hour while the three sprogs were left inside to fend for themselves. We had the fire on as it was 0degrees. So, crux of it all, I just stopped at 5km cos I had gone hard out and was bloody hot. So I did 5km in 15mins40secs.

As far as money and kids go, we never really had the beauty of planning if we could afford kids, they just arrived. Peta just after my 23rd birthday, Ben when I was 24 and, of course, our last wee surprise - Phoebe at 29. We have struggled but it has been silly decisions that have got us in the shit now. 2 years ago we were on two wages, with no outgoings. We had approached a no deposit mortgage company and had been approved for up to $160,000. But we were miffed at the $6000 fee on top of the crazy interest and decided to flag it. So we charged up to the max instead. That was all fine with two incomes. Now - with one income, loss of a company vehicle when Blair changed jobs and three children - things are a little tight and we still have the majority of those hire purchases etc. We will get through it. Just nice to have a little whine about it to people who will listen.

On the food front, have been fine. Not excellent, not bad, just fine. I have this biscuit in coffee addiction. Doesn't really matter what sort of biscuit as long as I can dunk it. Maybe I should just give up hot milky (soy milky that is) drinks. I had a hot Lemon & Barley last night and didn't have a biscuit with that as it just didn't appeal. Maybe that will be the trick.
Don't know if I am going to manage WW's tonight. Have to wrangle up the $16.95 and that could be a bit difficult. Will post later if I do. I weighed the lowest ever on my home scales this morning. I know, I always go on about what a joke it is to bother weighing on them as they are so different to the WW ones. But, I weighed 102.5kg on them. Sounds better than 106kg on the WW ones. I suppose it can still give me a perk as a year ago, when I first started journalling I weighed in at 108.5kg on those same scales. And they were brand new back then. That reminds me, I need to set up a link to my old diary-x entries. Will do that one day soon. I just had a look back and I started on 2nd August 2004. Well that's when I started journalling anyway. And apparently I was 106.5kg not 108.5. Who knows.

If you are a bit of a voyeur of the non sexual variety, check out Becks page, she is posting photos of random things in her life. Very interesting.

Congrats to Little Miss Sexy who has reached her lowest ever goal. Looking good girl!! And a big congrats to Karen and her husband on their pregnancy. Rest up woman, nothing is worth stressing over!! And good on Kim for getting back into it with a passion. Here's to losing these winter coats. And also congrats to Zara at Yo Heave Ho on her pregnancy as well. Good to know that we are all going so well in life and weight!!

Cold

2005-07-12T13:36:00.000+12:00

I must say, I really hate having to come up with a new title every time I post!! Some days I have good ones but, mostly I just come up with some random word that has nothing to do with the actual entry.

I have noticed that a few of my old regular reads are stopping blogging/journalling. This is hard for someone like me who looks up to a lot of these old hands at the weight loss game. But, I do understand a lot of your reasons so, kia kaha, be strong and will catch up again soon. As for the rest of you, let's keep going and get to goal. I have further than most to go, but I will be here till the end.

On the exercise front, pretty mellow until yesterday when I did some random weights and biked 5.1km in 16mins. So tonight I am going to aim to bike for 7km and see how it goes. Have to update the tracker and see how I have been. Have usually been within a point or two of my target so all is going pretty well. It is turning bloody cold here at the moment. Woke up to the hell frost and then it was quite lovely. Now it is turning stormy and grey and the temperature seems to have dropped dramatically. Nearly applied for a 25hr a week data entry/customer service job yesterday. Thought it would help out with the crap money situation but I did a quick spreadsheet to work out the difference once you took off the lost family assistance payment and added childcare (including government subsidy) and petrol. It worked out that we would be better off by about $30 a week. Not optimal so have left it for the moment. Once Blair starts working more hours again in the warmer months then it will be viable but, for the moment, need to look for something that won't require so much childcare. Night work has it's benefits but mostly pays less than the work I can do during the day so I would still be making minimal gains. I am going to look at all sorts during the week and put something into action in the next week.

My Turn to Be Tagged

2005-07-09T13:38:00.000+12:00

Three names I go by:
1. Julie
2. Mum
3. Jules

Three screen names I’ve had:
1. Jules
2. Naturaljules
3. The Renovation of Jules

Three physical things I like about myself:
1. My ears
2. My lips
3. My eyebrows (when manicured)

Three physical things I don’t like about myself:
1. My feet (see photo)
2. My butt (think Beyonce on Steroids)
3. My flabby tummy

Three parts of my heritage:
1. Australian
2. Irish
3. Scottish

Three things I am wearing right now:
1. Brown pants too big for me
2. Salmon Pink singlet top
3. Pink tie up cardigan

Three favorite bands/musical artists:
1. Metallica
2. Trinity Roots
3. The Feelers

Three favorite songs:
1. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd
2. Epiphany by Stained
3. Welcome Home by Dave Dobbyn

Three things I want in a relationship:
1. Adoration
2. Trust
3. Humour

Two truths and a lie:
1. My grandfather was an Allblack
2. I have helped train a racehorse
3. I have great self esteem

Three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you:
1. Butt
2. Arms
3. Eyes

Three favorite hobbies:
1. Blogging
2. Natural Therapies
3. TV (sadly)

Three things I want to do badly right now:
1. Be warm (thinking Sunshine Coast)
2.Win Lotto
3. See my other half smile

Three things that scare me:
1. Spiders
2. Dying suddenly with no plans in place for my kids
3. My kids getting sick

Three of my everyday essentials:
1. Tinted Moisturiser
2. Bach Flower Rescue Remedy
3. The stereo

Three Careers you have considered or are considering:
1. Journalist
2. Naturopath
3. Veterinarian

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Central Otago
2. A remote island with no shops
3. Germany

Three kids’ names you like:
1. Peta
2. Ben
3. Phoebe (how could I pick anything else!)

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Reach 60
2. Reach goal weight
3. Have no money worries

Three ways I am stereotypically a boy:
1. Love to airguitar to rock music
2. Have to drink till the last person goes home
3. Always up for a shag (with my partner of course!!)
have to add another one ....
4. Love utes

Three ways I am stereotypically a girl:
1. I love boots
2. I obsess about my weight
3. I love breastfeeding my baby

Three celeb crushes:
1. Brad Pitt (although has gone down in my books since Angelina!)
2. Kees Mews
3. Jonno Gibbes

Three people I am tagging with this list :
1. Rainy
2. JWL
3. Diet Diva